Wednesday, November 30, 2005

alison road

No link, as my usual video site is down. Damn them.

Anyway, the best lyric ever written, for my money, is contained in this song:

So she fills up her sails
With my wasted breath
And each one's more wasted
Than the others, you can bet
On Alison Road

Deny the greatness of that. A quintessential "country" style lyric.

Though that's not even my favorite Gin Blossoms song. "Until I Fall Away", "Hey Jealousy", and "Follow You Down" are all better, not to say that "Alison Road" is bad or anything.

I've made my love of mid-90's alt-rock well-known in the past (hey, didn't I do several music essays a while back? Those were fun), so I'm going to get right to the heart of the matter:

Wait, I don't have anything to say. Nevermind.

I went to school, read Flagpole, took a math test, came home, slept for two and a half hours (I still feel what could generously be called "shitty"), made dinner (crispy oven-baked chicken with cornflake and parmesan breading - pretty good), then came in my bedroom to write this.

Last night I took some home-made cough syrup to help me sleep. Didn't work, but I didn't mind. The recipe? A jar of honey, two huge peppermint candy canes, and Jack Daniels to fill the rest of the mason jar. Set it aside in a cool dark place for two months, shake it up every couple of weeks, and at the end you have cough syrup that will either keep you from coughing, or get you buzzed enough that you don't care if you cough or not.

It smells like death warmed over, but it tastes much better. As in, really good. But it's powerful stuff, so no more than a teaspoon full.

I'm working on an Amazon wishlist, so my adoring public can buy me stuff. You know you want to. I'll probably have it done by the end of this week or the beginning of next.

Finally, look on the link list to your right and see a new site, It's a new magazine and site run by some people I know and like, so read it and see what you think. I happen to like it a lot, and it's free, so what have you got to lose?

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

we be burnin'

Sean Paul - We Be Burnin' (pops)

I still don't feel too well, so this one's going to be kept short.

In fact, if I were you, I wouldn't expect anything of substance for a few weeks, at least until finals are over. Then, I should get back to something resembling my usual standards of quality.

I've been Stumbling like crazy, as it requires little effort to hit "stumble" and then either a "thumbs-up" or "thumbs-down". And I don't have to move all that much, which is nice.

Because, honestly, moving hurts. When I get sick, it's not an isolated thing, it's a full-body phenomenon. My stomach hurts, obviously. My joints don't want to move. My back's sore. My sinuses and throat are clogged. Plus, I've got a headache, as if I didn't have it bad enough.

But at least I made it to school. That's what counts, right? Even though I did absolutely nothing today. I turned in a Government project early, and I sat in music doing sudoku, valiantly staying awake.

Tomorrow, I will try to pay attention in Psych, despite having no idea what's going on in the class and hoping against hope that the test isn't Friday like I fear it is. In algebra, I know there's a test tomorrow, and I'm barely prepared. It's over logarithms and exponent functions, which I never did well with in high school, but I'm acing quizzes on right and left now. But it's been almost two weeks since I did any.

I'm going to go get some sleep. Tell me how much you love me, or tell me how much you loathe me. Attention's attention.

Monday, November 28, 2005

mr. brightside

The Killers - Mr. Brightside (pops)

Who can talk when Canada's government is in turmoil?

No, seriously, I've been sick all day. I didn't go to school today and slept until noon. I've done the antacid trifecta (Pepto, Mylanta, Alka-Seltzer), and I only feel marginally better. That's why you're not getting the full update that you, the consumer, deserve.

On the plus side, I've been playing a freeware version of Risk like there's no tomorrow (in my more lucid moments, at least). I'm fairly decent now.

I've got homework to do and drugs to sleep off, so I'll see you on the flip side.

Friday, November 25, 2005

turkey in the straw

Well, duh. is anyone really surprised?

English Genius
You scored 100% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 86% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I
can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon
intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You
have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!
Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog:

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You scored higher than 73% on Beginner
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Tuesday, November 22, 2005

nessun dorma

East Village Opera Company - Nessun Dorma (pops)

This is the group I talked about a while back, that apes Queen's classical bombast, but with actual classical music.

The site I get my videos from, VideoCodeZone, has four videos from them. Try the music out, see if you like it. Hey, it's free, and if you like it, I can probably get you the album for dirt cheap. The only thing you've got to lose is time, and if you're reading this, you probably don't have much better to do. I mean, you're reading what I write, for God's sake.

I accomplished today exactly what I set out to do yesterday: I ate, I slept, I messed around on the internet. It's not veni vidi vici, but it'll do.

I've actually run out of things to StumbleUpon, so I had to go in and expand my original topic set. Twice. I'm now signed up for stuff I only have the barest interest in, like board games. But I'm getting to see some cool stuff that I wouldn't have found on my own, so it's all good.

I was surprised by how many of the users were Neil Gaiman freaks. I realize the core audience for SU is nerds and geeks, but these people aren't so much into the Sandman stuff as they are the literary stuff, like American Gods and Good Omens.

Both of which you should be, borrow, or steal to get. Really. If you ask nicely, I'll even loan you my copy, which, if you know me, doesn't happen very often. I'm quite the over-protective packrat. In Carlin's "stuff" dichotomy, I'm an alpha male.

Skipping my first college class felt good today. I figure, I would have had to drive all the way to Watkinsville just to hear my professor drone on and on about useless stuff, and I haven't missed a single period in all of my classes, so I've earned it. Even Stacie remarked, "You've probably shown up to more classes in one semester of college than you did in four years of high school." She's almost right.

I have no idea why. I haven't had a major gastrointestinal attack since about June, and all my colds have been minor. Maybe I'm actually developing an immune system?

Nah. Couldn't be. It'll probably all come back to me in about a month, and I'll be as sick and miserable as usual.

I'll leave you on that bright and cheery note. Leave me comments, either about how much you liked or disliked the EVOC stuff, or about your general infatuation with me. Adios, muchachos.

Monday, November 21, 2005

stay fly

Three 6 Mafia - Stay Fly

I am done with school for the next six days.

I went to my Psych class this morning, basically to turn in a worksheet and nothing else, and came home.

I plan to do as little as possible in the next six days, besides eating, sleeping, and watching television. Specifically lucha, MA, and football.

Sometime this week I've got to do my Georgia Constitution project to fulfill my Regents requirement, but that's not hard at all. Fifty simple questions, and not only can I use the book to answer, but I'm encouraged to do so.

This weekend, I installed the StumbleUpon extension for Firefox, and opened the doors to a whole new method of slacking. It's hard to explain, but basically it sends you to random sites that other SU users have recommended, and you rate the site based on how much you enjoyed it, therebey giving other users recommendation. If you're using Firefox, and you should be, you've got no excuse not to install it.

Either tomorrow or Wednesday, I'm going to try to make a new recipe for crock-pot barbecue. It sounds good, but I'll probably end up tweaking it a little. Essentially, throw three pounds of pork and beef into a crock-pot with some vinegar, worcestershire, and green pepper and cook it for twelve(!) hours. By the time it's done, it should be absolutely delicious.

That should be a good training exercise for Thursday. You see, Thanksgiving at my grandmother's house is something of a clinical study in how much soul food an extended family of roughly two dozen can consume in eight hours.

The answer is "much more than you'd think".

Well, posting may be sporadic for the next week. I'll probably be online much of the time, but whether I remember to post is another story altogether. Email me or come see me in person. I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Friday, November 18, 2005

whiskey lullaby

Brad Paisley featuring Alison Krauss - Whiskey Lullaby (pops)

Hey, country from the past decade that doesn't suck donkey balls! I know, it's not exactly what you expect to hear from me.

It's simple, really. Brad Paisley is more than competent given a good songwriter, and Alison Krauss...

Well, let's put is this way: she's what angels sound like. Absolutely one of the best voices ever to exist in popular American music. You can keep your Mariahs, your Celines, and your Whitneys. I'll be more than happy to listen to Alison for the rest of my life.

Plus, she's a damn good fiddle player to boot. And a producer and arranger.

So anyway, DirecTV switched from Music Choice channels, which were lackluster at best, to XM channels. I now get around 70 different commercial free radio stations free with my satellite package. I still can't stand most of the stations, but There are one or two I love. For instance, "X Country" plays nothing but Americana, whcih covers everything from Newgrass to Cowpunk to Bakersfield. (Note to those uninitiated in the various alt-country genres: AllMusicGuide is your friend. Descriptions, reviews, and full biographies on anybody you might want to know about.)

The twin alternative stations, "Lucy" and "Fred", are pretty good. I mean, where else are you going to hear the Violent Femmes cover "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?" by Culture Club?

"XMU" is the "college" station, which isn't too great, but then again I've been spoiled on college radio, having grown up within 20 miles of Athens, GA all my life. WUOG comes in just fine here.

There's a decent chance I won't gio to school at all next week, as two of my classes have been canceled and one isn't important enough to go to, leaving only Psych to worry about. And that was canceled today since the teacher had to go to a doctor's appointment. On one hand I hope he's feeling better. On the other, I hope his cold drags out over the weekend so class is canceled Monday, too. Then I would have all of next week to veg out and do nothing.

But wait, isn't that pretty much what I already do?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

sugar, we're going down

Fall Out Boy - Sugar, We're Going Down (pops)

It's comforting to say that 'practice makes perfect'....
You are 'Gregg shorthand'. Originally designed to
enable people to write faster, it is also very
useful for writing things which one does not
want other people to read, inasmuch as almost
no one knows shorthand any more.

You know how important it is to do things
efficiently and on time. You also value your
privacy, and (unlike some people) you do not
pretend to be friends with just everyone; that
would be ridiculous. When you do make friends,
you take them seriously, and faithfully keep
what they confide in you to yourself.
Unfortunately, the work which you do (which is
very important, of course) sometimes keeps you
away from social activities, and you are often
lonely. Your problem is that Gregg shorthand
has been obsolete for a long time.

What obsolete skill are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nosferatu clan symbol
Nosferatu - Twisted and ugly, the Sewer Rats spend
their nights in a mad search for information
that they can broker for special favors...

What White Wolf vampire clan are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

You are Howard The Duck. Who the hell are you and
how did you get here? You are so damned weird!
Look at you, you're a freaking duck for
Christ's sake!!! Go away, it's not like you
fight crime or anything. You are the used
crap-paper of the super-hero breed. You're
horny too. God, what a waste.....

Which Superhero Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

camera one

Josh Joplin Group - Camera One (pops)

And again, I bring to you a forgotten pop gem. Seriously, listen to this and wonder why they never "made" it. It's a good hook, good arrangement, good production.

Yet, for all they had going for them, they never cracked the Billboard charts, save for a brief 40th spot on the Heatseeker chart and a 22nd on the Independent Albums chart.

Anyway, I went to school today, driving in the rain. Not bad rain, but a little heavy just at the Barrow-Oconee border. I grabbed a Flagpole, wonderfully oblivious to the assigned reading for Psych. Stacie came in with about fifteen minutes left till class started and reminded me of the assignment, so I read as quickly as I could, praying to whatever heathen gods would listen that there would be no quiz. Aparently, I'm in good with either Vishnu or Ganesha, so I was spared a crippling blow to my GPA.

Then I went to Algebra, and learned absolutely nothing. Par for the course.

Then I came home. Such an exciting day.

When I got home, the TiVo had gone on the fritz, so I did a "manual power interruption reset operation", otherwise known as unplugging it and plugging it back in. That worked, so I was happy. Crisis had been averted.

Now, I'm going to go watch the Johnny Cash tribute concert and hope that whoever is on it exercises enough restraint not to butcher the man's songs.

I guess I'm done for the day. I'll see you on the flip side. Catch you later, homeslices.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

soul survivor

Young Jeezy featuring Akon - Soul Survivor (pops)

Nothing new to report on the Western Front. Battles are fierce, losses are many, but victories are decisive.

And you can take that any way you want. Sometimes it pays to be cryptic. And sometimes it's annoying as hell.

I got porno in the mail today. Unsolicited. A DVD company sent me eight hours of hardcore pornography for no good reason. I'm not complaining or anything, but it's still a weird occurrence.

That word looks strange no matter if I spell it correctly or not. I guess it's just one of those words.

I got my music test back today. 96, so no big surprises there. If I did my math correctly, I could not show up for the rest of the semester in there and stil make a high A.

I'm resisting the car-crash-like temptation to watch the CMA's. It's there, it's grusome, and on some base level I want to see the carnage it will wreak on the national perception of Southern Americans.

The temptation is too strong. I want to see gaudy suits and skinny ties. I want to see cowboy boots and hats bigger than bodies. I'll tune in, because it's better than nothing.

Monday, November 14, 2005

love and death

The Stills - Love and Death (pops)

First off, R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero. He died Sunday morning. It's a sad occurence when someone goes through years of drug abuse, then they finally get clean, then they die.

This morning I watched "Boondocks" and laughed my ass off at Adam West.

Then I went to school and found out I made an 84 on my Psych test without the 8-point curve.

I stayed awake through Algebra and again rattled off the answers faster than the teacher.

I got my final directions on the paper I'm revising, and did that when I got home.

When the mail finally ran at 4:00, I got a check from the Financial Aid office. Too bad it'll go straight to paying bills. Being poor sucks.

How come there are no tobacco shops in Barrow or Oconee? I have this weird urge to smoke a cigar, but do I really want to smoke what amounts to sweepings off the factory floor, which is what I'll get if I buy a convenience store smoke? Well, sweepings if I'm lucky.

I figure, hey, I'm 18, I might as well use my advanced age for something, you know? The only time I've ever been carded was when I bought the DVD ten-pack of King of the Cage fights at Wal-Mart. Sad, really.

When I was in high school, I thought about making a fake I.D., but then I realized I'd never use it. Now, when I have an actual adult I.D., I never use it. I don't go to bars, I don't smoke cigarettes, I don't even buy lottery tickets.

Well, that was a waste of ten minutes, typing this up. I'm going to go eat dinner now. Leave comments about how much you despise my existence on this planet.

Friday, November 11, 2005

big poppa

Notorious B.I.G. - Big Poppa (pops)

This weekend I'm going to:

Get a haircut
Work on a Christmas present (never too early)
Revise a guy's English paper

I'm going to get paid very well for that last one, too. It's already been marked up by his teacher, so I'll just correct everything the teacher highlighted, then hand it back to him. Easy money, and not really unethical, either. It's a good paper, just sloppy. If I correct all the grammar and spelling mistakes, it's a solid "B" paper, and that's what I'm shooting for.

Sometimes it pays to be a Writing nerd.

If I really wanted to, I could give it my full treatment, and it would definitely be an "A" paper, but it would be a radical shift in writing styles (obviously detectable), and it wouldn't be ethically right. So it's a simple bug-hunt, and I make some gas money.

Speaking of which, I forgot to get gas today. I'll have to go either Sunday afternoon or Monday morning.

Did I mention I almost definitely bombed a Psych test today? I studied pretty hard last night and this morning, but to no avail. The questions were the most obscure stuff, and was material he never covered in class. I didn't answer some of them, so there is no way I made higher than a 90 on the test. I'm looking at maybe an 80, probably more like a 75 or a little lower. Consensus from the rest of my class was that this is the hardest test they've ever taken at GSC.

I made up for it a little bit, as after I got done, I went into the Atrium where his next class was camped out studying. I gave them as much help as possible, so maybe they'll do better than my class did. I don't think they did, though.

Well, see you crazy cats Monday, for another edition of my wonderful existence.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

nobody's hero

Rush - Nobody's Hero (pops)

In honor of Rush, my 18,000th hit, and my 225th post, in addition to the fact I've got a Psych test tomorrow and no time to write my usual witty missive, here's some genius from Jay Pinkerton. It's entitled:

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"I'm-a commit murders" indeed.


Wednesday, November 09, 2005


David Banner - Play (pops)

I really hate it when this song comes on the radio. Not because I don't like the song. I do. It's that damn siren sample. It makes me slow down and look in my rear-view, because I'm never expecting it. I guess maybe I'm just paranoid.

I've got a music test tomorrow, over the early Classical period. No problems there, because I actually know who Haydn, Mozart, and Beethoven are. I'll try to listen to the required stuff later tonight, btu it's no big deal if I don't. I can tell the difference between a piano sonata and a piano concerto, so I'm set for the test. I just have to memorize the details (date, name, genre) for each piece.

Facebook fully implemented the long-awaited Photo Albums feature, so I, like the good little automaton I am, created one today. The thing is, I don't have any pictures of myself that are both recent and suitable for publication. So I put up a picture of Blue Demon in a swank suit, my South Park caricature, and a picture of me and Joey from my graduation party.

I probably could use a digital camera, but I need gas money and insurance money a little bit more. Priorities, people.

Then again, I'd probably just use it for evil purposes, like setting up my own prono site. I can see it now:, your one-stop shop for home-town hussies, hookers, and harlots. The sad part is, I could have a stable of models in no time. Whether anyone would want to pay $19.95 a month to see the women I could get is another story altogether.

And I just looked up the domain name on WHOIS. It could be mine for only $7.95 a year. With some cheap web-hosting at around $25 a month, I only would have to have three subscribers to break even on the hosting costs. Add in modeling costs and record-keeping, and I could operate with a nice profit with only about 100 customers.

So, anybody want to provide some capital for a potentialy lucrative investment opportunity? For the low, low entry price of $999.95, you could be part owner of a booming internet website with unlimited growth potential. You could be a silent partner, doing little or no day-to-day operational work, and still reap the benefits of a growth industry.

Email me if you're interested in a huge money-making opportunity.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

better days

Citizen King - Better Days (...And the Bottom Drops Out) (pops)

Sinus headache. Too tired/painful to post.

Well, except for this.

Send me sympathy/hate mail at

Monday, November 07, 2005

laffy taffy

D4L - Laffy Taffy (pops)

Y'all know I gots to represent the Dirty Dirty, ergo I have selected the local sensations D4L, as their soulful and melodic strains distract from the hardscrabble upbringing of many disenfranchised urban youths.

Or something like that.

I didn't get the classes I wanted, but I got a schedule that will suffice for now, if nothing better comes along. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I'll go to Speech at 10:00 and Human Growth and Development at 11:00. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'll go to World Civilization at 2:00 and Elementary Spanish II at 3:30.

This June, I'll take my Health and Wellness from 11:00 to 1:45 every weekday except Friday. Sure, it sucks, but it's required, and I figure fifteen days for three hours is better than thirty or forty-five one-hour classes.

So I've got May and July, plus half of August completely free. Since I signed up for a summer class, I don't half to get a job, according to the 'rents.

I think next August I'll try and take the substitute teacher workshop, and try to get a schedule where I can have either Tuesdays and Thursdays, Mondays and Wednesdays and Fridays, or Fridays off. That way I can make a little green and still go to class full-time. It's like a real job, but not, you know?

The only problem is, if I start subbing and I totally screw it up, it jeopardizes my chances of getting a student-teaching spot and eventually getting a job at the high school. I kind of need both of those.

I really don't want to do my practicum or my student-teaching anywhere else, mainly because I'm used to Winder, and I know virtually everyone. I guess if I absolutely had to, I could go to Oconee or (gag) Apalachee. Worst case scenario, though.

It could be worse. I could do my student teaching at Clarke Central. Then again, I could always brag about my bullet scars after I student-taught there.

I'm done for now. Hit me up on email for all the latest news, gossip, and unsubstantiated rumors you can stand.

Friday, November 04, 2005


Smashing Pumpkins - 1979

To the naysayers, I say: Fuck you. He may be an asshole, but the asshole knows how to arrange a song, dammit. So what if he's being a whiny bitch and refusing to play Pumpkins songs in concert anymore? The Pumpkins weren't really about the concert experience anyway. Total studio band, but that's not a bad thing. Look at Steely Dan.

Getting back to the "me being needlessly nostalgic about music", I never wanted to tour or play live shows. I hated playing in band concerts in school, and I was much happier messing around in the studio.

Speaking of the mythical "studio", my music teacher played the class his old demo tape on Thursday. Think the Judds, but with just a piano and saxophone, really bad production values and too much reverb on the vocal tracks.

Yes, that bad.

If anyone has classes at UGA's music school, let me know so I can tell you my professor's name and you can get the dirt on him for me. It won't do me much good now, but I can pass it on for future generations.

Did anyone see the last few South Park episodes? They seem to be hitting their stride again after a little downturn in quality. The phrase "if they start lezzing out, just roll with it" is now firmly entrenched in my vernacular anytime I'm pressed to give advice.

I'm dreading registering for my classes on Monday. I'm going to have to leave for school late, since the earliest I can register is when I usually leave. THere's no way I can wait until I get home or even when I get to school, because the one class I have to have is already half full, and perhaps a third of the student body's gotten the go-ahead to register.

If I don't get in this go-round, I'll either have to grovel at the feet of my psych professor or take the class during summer school. Man, do I not want to have to take this class over the summer. I know it's not going to be a cakewalk as it is. Taking it over the summer, in three-hour blocks, every single day for twenty days is going to make me hate it even more.

Well, I'm out. I'm going to watch UFC all day tomorrow, then watch the finale tomorrow night. If anyone wants to watch it with me, you're free to come over. We've got beets!

(Will anybody get that horribly obscure reference? If they do, will they be motivated to comment?)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

say it ain't so

Weezer - Say It Ain't So (pops)

I figured, if I'm going to do a geeky post, I'll put up a geeky song.

I stole this from Kipper (the original Ludacris) who in turn stole it from a girl he knows. All of the below is true, and as a card-carrying geek, I attest to the veracity of these statements. My comments are interspersed throughout. Enjoy!


In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they're well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are? Plus, I've never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They're useful. In this tech-savvy world, it's great to have a boyfriend who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They're more romantic than they're given credit for. Ok, true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like 'em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like 'em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They've got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it'll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they're more attentive than guys who "have more options". Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they'll likely have mental lists of all the things they'd love to do once they GOT a girlfriend. (Note from SF: This is so true. Anatomy books come in handy every once in a while.)

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I'm not really familiar with this myself, but I've friends who've been intimate with geek guys and it's raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination. (Note from SF: Geeks generally have powerful imaginations. We'll also generally try anything you'd like at least once.)

8.) They're relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you're not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his "groove" on with club hotties because, frankly, he'll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won't have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he'll zip right by them in a perfect beeline towards the nearest electronics store. I've seen this happen. (Note from SF: Once we've actually earned a girlfriend, we won't do anything to jeopardize the situation. We're eternally yours.)

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you'll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he'll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn't want to go someplace with you, you won't have to worry much about what he's up to. You'll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It's ok. He's used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren't jerks. I can't stress this enough. You'll more likely get "OMG! A GIRL! Can I see?!" than "Hey hot stuff, back that ass up here and let me get some grub on..." They're awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well, ok, maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They're rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won't care. He does too! They won't get pissy if you don't wear make-up or don't want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won't try their best to make you feel like crap. (Note from SF: We're just so happy to have female companionship, we'll put up with almost anything. Please don't abuse that. On a personal note, most girls, to me anyway, look better "plain" than they do all made up. Don't dress up for us. We don't care one way or another)

13.) They're usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See number 5. You won't have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok, maybe a little), he'll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You'll almost never have to hear, "Yo dawg, whuzzup?" plop out of their mouths. Unless it's in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get "wasted", so you won't have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that's a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than "Damn baby, you got a fine ass!" Believe me.


It's all so true. So, how's about you and me hit a disco? Failing that, how about we lounge around on my couch, watch bad movies, and eat nachos?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

give it to me

Rick James - Give It To Me (pops)

Because I remember a time when he was more than a punchline. He was a freakin' legend. Nobody save Bootsy or George Clinton were funkier. And the dude could write a hook like nobdoy's business. Plus he was a brilliant arranger (just look at Teena Marie's stuff).

I guess it's "underrated artists week" on here, huh? Then again, my defintion of underrated is different than most.

I'm watching a Simpsons episode while I write this. "Whacking Day", which happesn to be one of my favorites. They say the funniest things are the truest. Well, here's one that rings truer than just about anything:

Superintendent Chalmers: We're dropping the geography requirement. The children weren't testing well. It's proving to be an embarrassment.
Prinicpal Skinner: Very good. Back to the three R's.
Superintendent Chalmers: Two R's, come October.

And for some reason I want to teach high school. Well, that has more to do with the benfits package and the schedule, but I digress.

I propose we institute a "Whacking Day" in Barrow County. You know it would catch on like hotcakes. It combines animal cruelty with community spirit, which are the two cornerstones of any Barrow County gathering.

I'll keep this one short. In closing, I shall quote my personal hero, Abraham Simpson: "I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock."

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

I can't tell you why

The Eagles - I Can't Tell You Why (pops)

Timothy B. Schmit, everybody.

Now, you wanna talk about underrated musicians, there's somebody for you. Think of how many good songs he's done vocals for (like this one), then think of how many he's written (Poco's "Keep On Believin'", David Cassidy's "I Can See Everything", Restless Heart's "Tell Me What You Dream"), then think of how many good bands he's played with (The Eagles, Poco, Ringo Starr's All-Starr Band). Pretty impressive.

Plus, he was able to keep sane on multiple Eagles tours, and that's got to count for something.

Anyway, back to my life. Boring, I know.

Nothing interesting or different today. Same old, same old.

I had hamburgers for dinner. I'm sure you were dying to know.

I have no idea what I'm getting myself for Christmas. I thought about maybe a laptop, but I don't know if I can justify the expense. I know some of you are thinking "What is this 'justifying an expense?' that he's talking about? If you want it, buy it!" Well, when you're responsible for a major part of your household's income like I am now, your priorities change a little. It's a bit more important to have groceries or gas than it is to have a laptop right now. Real World Lesson number one, kids: It's hard to enjoy your new electronic toy that much when the electric bill hasn't been paid.

I set up my schedule over the weekend. Best case scenario, I have the same class schedule I do now: 10:00 to 12:00 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; 11:00 to 1:45 on Tuesday and Thursday. Second best, I'll go from 1:15 to 2:30 on Monday and Wednesday, 12:30 to 4:45 on Tuesday and Thursday, and I'd have Fridays off. Worst case, I'd go 1:15 to 5:15 on Mondays and Wednesdays with a big break between 2:30 and 4:00, and then 11:00 to 1:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, off Friday.

I would really prefer to go all five days, because it would give me a smoother routine. Sure, only going four days a week has its advantages, but you know getting up on Monday would be a killer. Plus, I want to have classes around 10:00, so I can get homework done when i get home. I know if I had to get up early to do homework, and then go to school later in the day, I'd never get anything done.

I guess you could say I'm a morning person, just looking at my schedule, but I actually hate getting up early and never get anything of note accomplished before noon. But I do a good job of looking busy from about 10:00 on, so it's good to have class then.

Oh well, I've rambled on long enough. I'm going to go watch some UFC.


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