dare

Gorillaz - Dare (pops)

Nothing much to report, other than the fact that my body has rebelled furiously. Sinus infections are no fun, especially when they're combined with my sinus drainage problems and burgeoning ulcer.

I spent yesterday sleeping by default, because it hurt too much to get out of bed. My sense of balance is still screwed up. I've got a headache that no amount of Tylenol can cure (and I've tried, believe me). I'm thisclose to popping a Lortab I've got leftover from my wisdom teeth extraction, just to get some real rest.

But this morning, I knew I had to get to school, because I've got a Spanish test on Thursday. So I gritted my teeth, popped some tylenol because anything stronger would have left me unable to drive, and went. I don't really remember anything besides getting back my World Civ paper (with a 100), and being really pissed at her lack of literary copmprehension. It's not that I'm this great writer, but she is completely clueless about paragraph structure, formatting, and all of the other basics of writing. I think she's spent so much time in the world of dry scientific journals that she can't handle actual writing.

Plus she tried to get us to write a paper about the role of women in the ancient Olympics. Newsflash: they didn't have a role. They had the games of Hera, so they didn't bother with the Olympics (the games of Zeus). Not everything is gender-equal, and you can't make this huge feminist point out of every little thing.

I've been listening to TMBG a lot, mainly because I can be half-conscious and still enjoy them. I think my LastFM page will show this trend to be true.

"Man, It's So Loud in Here" is the greatest song ever, or that could be the headache and nausea-induced hallucinations talking.

Anyway, I'm going to keep this one short. I've got to get up even earlier tomorrow, so I'm going to try to sleep somewhat restfully. Cards and letters can be sent to the usual address.

nobody's fool

Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Fool

Sadly, this isn't a cover of Cinderella's hair-metal tour de force. Well, I guess a guy can hope, right?

Seriously, this live footage shows that some singers (not to mention any names) need a good producer to rein in their vocal "quirks".

I'm being very nice by using the word "quirks" in place of the proper word, which would be "flaws".

Avril is fine when she's got the Matrix behind her. No, not the Wachowski brothers movie, but the trio of producers that made her a pop star. Any other time, she has a tendency to be, well, bad. Not horrendous, because Pro Tools can only do so much, but definitely not up to par.

Anyway, on Saturday, I got a haircut, went grocery shopping, bought a new copy of Norton AV, and got an external dual-layer DVD-RW drive. So I'm pretty much depleted as far as money goes. Nobody ask for a loan for a while, huh?

I spent today doing Spanish homework, installing said drive, and trying to not stress out over HGD test I took on Friday. I also need to not stress out over the projected Spanish test on Thursday, the speech I have to give on next Monday, and the World Civ test lurking around the corner. I've got a PowerPoint presentation to do for HGD sometime, but he hasn't even gone over the requirements for it, so I'm not too incredibly worried.

Tomorrow, I'm going to go to school (and hopefully just be able to veg out), then come home and do Spanish lab work, write a speech, and try to study everything else.

I'm not going to be fun to be around until sometime in the middle of May. Then, I have to get ready to go back for three weeks of class. After that I'll get my real summer vacation, from the end of June to the middle of August, where I will not get up before 9:00 unless someone is dying. As it is, I can't even sleep past 8:30 on weekends. I've got too much to do, and my brain won't let me forget it.

So how was your weekend?

talk dirty to me

Poison - Talk Dirty to Me (pops)

I'm tired.

I should be studying for my Human Growth and Development test tomorrow, but I can't bring myself to do it. I think I may be that much of a sloth.

Or maybe everyone else is just too much of an over-achiever?

I really hate bands on MySpace. Not all of them, just the really unpopular ones who have to resort to mass-mailing people to get hits. I have it clearly stated on my profile: "No, I do not want to add your crappy band". Maybe they just like a challenge. They do get at least a hit from me, just to make sure it's not someone I actually know under an assumed name.

I know all about assumed names, since I use one everyday. On this blog, for example, I almost never use my real name (Harvey Finkleberg). But seriously.

I'm sorry I'm rambling. I haven't gotten much sleep the past few days. My ear has been killing me, I'm generally run down, and I've got the ever-present stomach woes. I'm at the point where I'm really tired, but I can't actually go to sleep because either I'm not truly tired or somewhere in the back of my brain, my subconscious thinks that I've got better things to do than sleep.

I've been reviewing places to transfer after I get my degree from GSC. If I can get some serious financial aid, I can go to Piedmont College, at the Athens campus, and get everything I'll need to teach, plus get a foot in the door for the graduate program. Otherwise, it's either NGCSU at the Oakwood campus or (shudder) UGA.

What's so incredibly depressing is that, a year ago, I couldn't have cared less which colleges in Georgia offered leadership degrees. Now, it's actually a fairly important facet of my life.

On the plus side, if I get into Piedmont, I'll only have forty-five hours of classes (roughly) that affect my major (English) and minor (Secondary Education), so I've got fifteen hours to do whatever I want with. I'm thinking either Applied Physics or Advanced Volleyball.

You know, Oconee County schools are out tomorrow for whatever reason. I hate them. At GSC, we get MLK and Spring Break, and that's it. Otherwise, it's just pounding out week after week. It's incredibly tedious.

So how was your day?

sympathy

Goo Goo Dolls - Sympathy (pops)

So I signed up for (or, rather, renewed my old account at) Last.FM today. You can see the link to my user profile on the sidebar somewhere around my Xanga and Facebook profiles.

In addition, I've got a little widget on the bottom of the page that tells the last three songs played in WinAmp on my computer.

I will warn you right now, I listen to very little "macho" music, and most of it is probably worthy of beating me up. What can I say, I'm a pop person. For every Sabbath album, there's three TMBG and three Cure albums.

I went through the heavy phase, like every male age 13-18. But I can't honestly say that I would rather listen to Maiden or Priest than Fountains of Wayne or the Gin Blossoms. I will say, however, that you should absolutely listen to Maiden, Priest, Megadeth, Cannibal Corpse, Killing Joke, and the like to get a rounded view of popular music.

That's what I'm really after. I listen to all forms of popular music. I listen to Gram Parsons, Wu-Tang Clan, Death Cab for Cutie, Lyrics Born, OK Go, Hank Williams, Slick Rick, Kelly Clarkson, Rush, Fall Out Boy, Nickel Creek, and the Amboy Dukes, all in the same day, if not in the same hour.

Part of my charm is that I won't discount something for being either too popular or too obscure. I will admit to liking Kelly Clarkson's last efforts more than any heterosexual male my age should. Just because it's popular and aimed at twelve year old girls doesn't mean it's not good. In fact, it's the best synthesis of Def Leppard, Cheap Trick, the Smashing Pumpkins, and Celine Dion I've ever heard.

It's also probably the only synthesis of those I'm ever going to hear, but that's really beside the point. Suffice to say, it's well-produced quasi-intelligent pop, and that's sadly becoming a rarity.

I'll listen to unsigned bands, too. The only problem is that, if they're unsigned for too long, there's probably a very good reason they haven't been picked up by a label. Mainly that they suck. There are exceptions, but they're few and far between.

That reminds me, I've got to get some new music to listen to. Now that I've got an audience that cares what I listen to, even if it's only an Audioscrobbler robot, I better get some that actually reflects what I listen to.

Well, that about does it for this week's show. Join us next time when we'll show you how to disassemble a carburetor from a 1972 Ford Pinto, build a fully insulated toolshed out of just a piece of plywood and a roll of kite string, and how to prank call unsuspecting Congressman without going to federal prison.

21 questions

50 Cent - 21 Questions (pops)

(ultra mega mass special toukon retsouden super double daily weekend post!)

THE BASICS...

NAME: Stephen Doyle Foster, Junior

GENDER: Male

BIRTHDATE: January 11, 1987

EYE COLOR: Blue

HAIR COLOR: Blonde leading towards brown, with the occasional rust-colored highlight

JOB: You're kidding, right?

SCHOOL: Gainesville State College, home of the Fighting Geese

FAVE CLOTHING STORE: As much as I shop for clothes (i.e., almost never), Wal-Mart

FAVE RESTAURANT: Humble Grounds (R.I.P.)

OBSESSIONS: Wrestling (lucha in particular), comic books, curling (right now)

DEEP THOUGHTS...

DO YOU LIVE IN THE MOMENT?: Never

DO YOU HAVE ANY SECRETS?: Too many to name

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?: Yes, although I can't think of a single person other than me who likes it

WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?: Bears. Specifically, the North American Grizzly

CAN YOU SING?: Not particularly well

WHAT ARE YOUR #1 PRIORITIES IN LIFE? Getting through school in one piece so I can get a decent job and grind out a life

ARE YOU A DAREDEVIL?: In that I am a blind Columbia-educated lawyer with heightened senses and at the peak of human athletic ability, yes.

WHAT'S YOUR GREATEST WEAKNESS? Kryptonite. Or possibly the color yellow. Or the code word "Abraxas".

DO YOU THINK YOU'RE EMOTIONALLY STRONG?: Not a bit.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU REGRET DOING/NOT DOING?: Can anyone honestly answer "no" to this question?

WHAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON YOU'VE LEARNED?: Strongbad is a bad guy, bad guy.

ARE YOU CONFIDENT?: Outwardly, yes. Inwardly, no.

ARE YOU PERCEIVED WRONGLY?: Absolutely, nearing 100%.

DO YOU...

SMOKE?: No

DO DRUGS?: Only as prescribed by a physician or a bass guitarist.

READ THE NEWSPAPER?: Maybe half of the time.

PRAY?: Not as much as I probably should.

GO TO CHURCH?: I don't really believe in the concept of a "group faith", as I believe faith is a personal, one-on-one relationship that doesn't have to be displayed publicly on a weekly basis to be strong. To me, being "showy" with faith kind of masks the truth, and can act as a crutch for people with faith that may not be strong enough to be stand on its own.

(Sorry about the editorializing and digression. On with the show.)

TALK TO PEOPLE EVEN THOUGH YOU HATE THEM?: All the time.

WOULD YOU OR HAVE YOU EVER...

HURT YOURSELF?: Not on purpose

BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY?: No

BEEN IN LOVE?: That depends on the definition of the word "is". And I'm being completely serious, not pulling a Clinton-ism out of my hat.

HAD A MEDICAL EMERGENCY?: I slammed my finger in a car door once. I still have a chip missing out of one of my fingers.

HAD SURGERY?: Yes

RAN AWAY FROM HOME?: No

PULLED AN ALL-NIGHTER?: Not often, thank God

SLEPT TOGETHER WITH THE OPPOSITE WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING SEX?: Yes

SLEPT ALL DAY?: Yes (while sleeping off drugs, to boot!)

KISSED THE SAME SEX? Yes, on a dare. (Interracial to boot!)

BEEN BETRAYED?: Yes

MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER? No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS?: With the size and scope of the universe, there almost has to be something out there.

A THING CALLED LOVE?: Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.

MIRACLES?: Yes

GOD?: Yes

SANTA?: No

GHOSTS?: In a manner of speaking, yes.

LUCK?: As an abstract principle of the universe, yes.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?: Not so much love as pheromonal interaction in the reptilian sub-brain. So yes.

YIN AND YANG?: In a manner of speaking. More "Ahuramazda and Ahriman" than "Yin and Yang". A "yetzer hara and a yetzer hatov", if you will. Really, more of an aggadic view than anything. (Look it up!)

IS IT POSSIBLE TO REMAIN FAITHFUL FOREVER?: I'll give it shot, given the opportunity

DO YOU CONSIDER LOVE A MISTAKE?: It's possible, but in hindsight, anything can look like a mistake. In the moment, no.

WHAT DO YOU FIND ROMANTIC?: Most people would say sense of humor, but I'd have to go with breast size.

TURN-OFF?: Penises. I can deal with pretty much anything else, but if you've got a penis, I'll have to pass.

TURN-ON?: Vaginas.

DO YOU WISH IT WAS MORE ACCEPTABLE FOR A GIRL TO ASK A GUY OUT?: Absolutely, mainly because I'm fairly sure I will never build up enough courage to ask a woman out. Sober, at least. (I'm working on that.) (The courage part, not the sober part.) (I'm not really working on the courage part, but it sounds good.)

WHAT'S THE BEST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?: Vaginas and breasts.

WHAT'S THE WORST ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?: Three little letters. Can you guess what they are?

WHO'S THE LAST PERSON THAT BROKE YOUR HEART?: Let's see. In terms of totally shattering my heart, I'll have to reach back almost a decade and go with Ms. SS. In terms of just dissappointment, I'll have to go with KD, with the alley-oop from CF.

WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY?: Went to school, watched curling, cooked a roast.

WHAT MEMORY DO YOU MISS THE MOST?: How can I tell you if I miss the memory. By definition, I wouldn't remember it. What a stupid question.

LAST VACATION?: Tybee Island?

PRESENT

FAVE COLOR: Grey

FAVE CANDY: Dove chocolate Promises

FAVE BOOK: Good Omens

FAVE MOVIE: Reservoir Dogs

FAVE TV SHOW: Centurions, or maybe Sports Night

FAVE SONG: Follow You Down

FAVE DAY OF THE WEEK: Saturday

FAVE MONTH: July, because I'm assured of being out of school.

FAVE SEASON: Autumn

FAVE SHAMPOO: Prell (old school, baby)

FAVE PERFUME: Wouldn't know the difference, merely that you had some on.

FAVE GIRL'S NAME: I seem to have this thing for girls with names beginning with the letter K. I have no idea why. I'd love it if someone could explain it to me, and perhaps break me of the habit. (Or not.)

FAVE BOY'S NAME: Algernon

FAVE SPORTS TEAM: Team Canada

WHAT ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT?: Everything. Seriously.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?: A t-shirt and shorts

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Me typing

FUTURE...

OCCUPATION: High school literature teacher

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?: Backyard

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON? Away

WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE?: Here

NUMBER OF KIDS: Somewhere between 0 and 50.

CAR: 1989 Honda Accord. (Dream big, kids.)

only wanna be with you

Hootie and the Blowfish - Only Wanna Be With You (pops)

Special Weekend Edition!

Okay, it's only to make up for missing my usual post, but still, shouldn't you feel special? I took time out of my busy weekend (*stifled laugh*) to post, just for you, my loving audience.

Speaking of which, the only comment I've gotten lately was from a corporate drone at PodBridge, who responded to my complaint about their product with a quasi-form-letter.

That tells me several things.

One, they're worried about their image enough to scour the 'net looking for complaints.

Two, they have enough complaints to even have a form letter.

Three, they actually have employees who would rather respond to complaints instead of, you know, actually doing something about them. Like updating their product to work with Firefox's latest build. The browser covers around fifteen percent of the total market, according to some recent statistics. I'd say people familiar enough with computers to use PodBridge would have a much higher Firefox usage rate. Firefox gets updated regularly. In order to keep up, you have to do the same. If you're not prepared to offer maximum conpatibility, please be so kind as to remove your product from the market. M'kay?

Four, my webpage is apparently popular enough to warrant recognition when I complain about something. Yay me!

Now I should probably complain about something else to see if I can actually get something important done.

Should I criticize the war? No, too obvious, and I've already got my little image on the sidebar doing all my talking for me. Plus, I can't think of anyone who's gone up against the military-industrial complex lately and won. So that's out.

Should I try to get a recall on dangerous products marketed to children? No, Ralph Nader's already got that covered. Plus, I don't want to become a potential Green Party candidate. So that's out.

I know! I should rally the masses around something that is really important.

Bring back Sheriff Lobo.

I implore you, Viacom, bring back the hilarious comedy stylings of Sheriff Lobo, and all will be forgiven.

(And Mr. Government, please ignore that little remark about the military-industrial complex. I hear Guantanamo's nice this time of year, but I'd rather not find out for myslef. We cool?)

behind these hazel eyes

Kelly Clarkson - Behind These Hazel Eyes (pops)

I am incredibly tired, and I'm not sure why. I think it's the fair amount of stress I'm under, because this semester the teachers decided to all lump their assignments into the same few days.

I slept this afternoon for an hour and a half. I should have been doing homework (which seems to never end), but instead I just couldn't help falling asleep. This evening, I was still sleepy, and even now I could probably sleep straight through until morning.

I gave my speech today. I didn't think it was good, but I'll let you in on a little secret: I've never done anything I've been onehundred percent satisfied with. I always think "Well, it'll have to do for now, because there's no time left to fix it". I think that's probably what makes me the good student I am, that I'm never happy with anything I do and always want to make it better, but it also makes me quite the bitter little man. How would you feel if you never thought what you did was good enough? I know for a fact that some of you (hopefully) reading this know exactly what I mean.

Also, I had an OBE while giving my speech, which was fun. An OBE, for those of you unaware, is an out-of-body experience. In my case, whenever I have to speak in front of a group, I somehow disassociate. It's a "meta" moment, where everything sort of slows down, and your conscious mind separates from whatever you're doing, and you realize that you're on autopilot. You split into two minds, where one is reading the speech, or whatever, and the other half sort of looks around and takes it all in. It's the weirdest damn thing. And it almost always happens when I either have some sort of speech to give, or when I'm in a similarly stressful situation.

It probably has something to do with my weird sensory memory. I knew my memory worked differently than everybody elses, and my (cognitive/memory expert) psych professor agrees. I absorb more "things" than the average person. Most people have around five to nine "things" they can absorb at a time, but my capacity is much larger. So when I'm giving a speech or something like that, my mind actively wanders because it's bored, and not getting enough stimulation.

Just a theory. All I know is I had a disassociative episode, and I've been tired a lot lately.

I'm going to try to do more homework now. I hate ancient Greek civilization at this point, by the way. They can all go jump in the Aegean.

arms of a woman

Amos Lee - Arms of a Woman (pops)

My festering hate for this time of year is soothed over ever so slightly by the sultry sounds of Amos Lee, a singer-songwriter from Philadelphia who plays the best Bill Withers/John Prine songs that neither wrote. It's silky soul/jazz/folk, and proof that music doesn't have to be complex to be good, nor does it have to be part of a current trend. Old music is good. People need to learn that.

I got my papers done this weekend. I had to resort to the dirtiest trick in my book to do it, but I did it.

My trick? Wu-Tang Clan, "36 Chambers", put on repeat and played loud. It's inspirational music, dammit. It feeds my rhythm, and I write better to a drumbeat. The only problem is that it's so incongruous to my topic, I have to filter out the lyrical influence. It wold just be too weird to have a paper about the history of the ancient Greek sporting festivals with a thirty-two bar interlude about trying to survive in the ghetto by selling drugs for a living.

I did that paper for World Civ, and I wrote five minutes on how BitTorrent works for my Communications class. The topic itself was easy, as far as the history of it goes, but explaining the technology to a non-geek audience is hard. I have to resort to really weird metaphors, like cops at intersections and gourmet cheeses, to make the theory accessible to the common man.

So back to how much I hate Valentine's Day. I hate it a lot. Having never been in a successful relationship during the season leading up to the dread day, I guess I've never seen the upside to it. Seems like a big waste of resources and manpower that could be spent better.

Then again, I should probably shut up, since an entire side of my family has at one time or another depended directly on the holiday for their job security. You see, both of my father's brothers and one brother-in-law work or have worked at Flowers, Inc., a company that makes Valentine's Day crap in particular, and generic holiday crap overall. You know, balloon arrangements, teddy bears, mugs, flower arrangements and the like.

So if you ever need free or discounted party favors, I'm probably your man.

But I really hate the holiday. It's a giant slap in the face for those of us who aren't romantically successful. It's saying to us, "You are a failure in society". That, to me, is really unfair.

La vie es injuste, though, so I'll quit bitching.

Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!

run it

Chris Brown featuring Juelz Santana - Run It (pops)

69 Odd Questions

1) Are your parents married or divorced?
Married

2) Vegetarian?
I can't give up meat, so no

3) Heaven?
Yes

4)Come close to dying?
On several occasions

5) What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
None

6)Where'd the question go?
Huh?

7) Do you eat the stems of broccoli?
I don't eat broccoli all that much, but yes I do eat the stems

8)Makeup?
Nope

9) Were you the dumper or the dumpee in your past relationship?
Is "dumpee" even a word?

10) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Under the right circumstances (horrific accident, etc.)

11) What do you wear to bed?
Clothes

13) Can you roll your tongue?
Yes. I have an oddly flexible tongue. (Make a note, ladies.)

14) Pluck your eyebrows?
Nope

15) What kind of watch(es)?
Wal-Mart el cheapo

16) Abortion?
I'm not 100% sure on this one because I haven't been in that position. I would like to think it would be up to the individual, but I'm not sure if that coincides with my personal moral code.

17) Hair color?
Blondish-brown, with reddish tints mixed in my beard

18) Future child's name?
Something normal: John, Jim, Dave, Bill; Alexandra, Karen, Elizabeth, Catherine

19) Do you snore?
Like a champ

20) If you could go anywhere in the world on a vacation, where would you go?
I hear Tahiti is nice, so are Samoa, Fiji, Australia, New Zealand, and the Bahamas

21) Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
Nope

22) If you won the lottery, what would you do first?
Faint

29) When's the last time you cried?
Honestly, I don't remember

30) Have you loved somebody so much it made you cry?
Yes

31) Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Only for money or humor

32) Ever been involved with the police?
Not personally, but nearly every member of my extended family has

33) Believe in Santa?
Sure, why not?

34) Do you talk in your sleep?
Hopefully not. I have weird (and pre-cognitive) dreams, so that could get icky.

35) Beach or pool?
Pool. Less chance of drowning for a non-swimmer like me.

36) Can you cross your eyes??
Yes.

37) What's your favorite song at the moment?
Gin Blossoms, "Follow You Down"

38) Window seat or aisle?
Aisle

40) Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship?
Nope

41) Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
Twirl

42) Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey?
Oprah by default. Ricki was good in "Hairspray", though.

43) Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery of any kind if confronted?
N/A

44) How long does your shower lasts?
Ten minutes now that I don't have hair. Before, I could be in there for twenty easy.

45) Do you drive a stick?
I could drag race, but as soon as I had to shift down or brake, I'd be in trouble.

46) Cake or ice cream?
Usually, ice cream, but I'm not turning down either.

47) Self-conscious?
Usually, but I try not ot be, and I usually can come off as un-self-conscious if I try.

48)What time do you get up?
7:00 AM

49) Have you ever given money to a bum?
Does Jonathan count as a bum? If so, yes.

50) When was your first crush?
Kindergarten

51) Where do you wish you were?
About ten years in the future, or fifteen in the past

52) Have you ever broken someone's heart?
Smart money's on no. The reverse, however...

53) Ever been given a ring?
Nope

54) 54 died, correct?
Huh?

55) Last gift you received?
Money for my birthday

56) Last sport you played?
Real or virtual? Football for real, hockey virtually.

57). Things you spend a lot of money on?
Gas, insurance, car maintenance, groceries, bills

58) Where do you live?
Go to the only stoplight in town, go across the railroad tracks, and go about three-quarters of a mile. I'm on the left.

59) High School you attend(ed)?
Winder Barrow High School

60.) Last wedding you attended?
My cousin's.

61) Favorite fast food restaurant?
It's all good.

62) Where do you work?
Occasionally, at home.

63) Can you cook?
Yes. Very well, in fact.

64) Most hated food:
Okra

65) Can you sing?
In that air can be passed through my vocal chords in a vaguely melodic pattern, yes.

66) Last kiss?
I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that I may incriminate myself or others. Mostly others.

67) Last concert attended?
I can't remember.

68) Favorite Alcoholic(s)?
Jack Daniels by default

69) Current crush?
I've got several dozen. I'm one big fleshy mass of unrequited love.

love is only a feeling

The Darkness - Love is Only a Feeling (pops)

I hate this time of year.

It's worse than Christmas, because on Christmas, there's always your family to fall back on.

On Valentine's Day, if you don't have anyone, it's you against a tide of advertising, programming, and the pervasive feeling of "not fitting in". Love, and the world loves you. Don't love, and the world is indifferent to your plight, possibly even actively against you. It sucks.

On top of that, it's the time fo the year when the teachers realize they don't have any grades, and that project they've been meaning to assign needs to be on this quarter's report. I get to wall up in my room and do nothing but research and write for a few weeks, and the teachers look good on their evaluations. Everybody wins, or not.

I haven't been able to do any of the things I like to do, like play video games or watch lucha or write for pleasure (like on here, for instance) because I've got too much work to do. The word "burn-out" is slowly flickering in my mind. I swear, if the pace doesn't let up a little bit, I'm going to completely stop giving a shit. As it is, I'm giving maybe three-quarters of a shit at best. More than not, it's less than half.

The sad, frustrating thing of it all is this: the more trouble I have writing something like a paper, the worse I feel. The worse I feel, the more trouble I have writing. The creative process, when it works, is the best thing in the world. When it doesn't, it's like pulling teeth with no anaesthesia.

And it comes back around to not having anybody to bounce ideas off, to help me let off some frustration.

I hate this time of year. I really do.

this must be the place

Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place (pops)

Why do I always get the fantastically creative ideas when I have no time to get them done before I forget them?

I've got a fantastic idea for a script/novella/short-story, but there is no way to get it done before the end of the month. I've got too many projects with my GPA attached to start worrying about frivolous stuff.

Got a 92 on my HGD test, so I'm happy about that, I guess. I also got my project for there done a week early, so go me.

I did the basic research for my Civ project, which is due Tuesday. I should be able to hammer it out by then. I don't know why I even bother going to the class, though. I spent the entire time today doodling in my notebook. It's all stuff that I've heard a million times, and it's not a new presentation, so my attention drops to nil.

I've got about nine notebook pages (4-5 minutes, by my handwriting) to fill for a speech Monday. I haven't even started on it, but between now and then I should be able to do something. I'm probably going to talk about lucha or something similar.

And I had a cuticle on my right index finger, so I'm trying to type with a big bulky bandaid, and it's not going so well. It's taking me a ridiculously long time to get this done, much less the five page paper I should be devoting every spare minute to.

So how was your day, intrepid readers? First person(s) to respond gets a cyber-treat.

bia bia

Lil' Jon - Bia Bia (pops)

I've got anywhere from nine to fifteen pages to write this weekend, so it's going to be a fun few days in my house. If you want to see me try to ride a 48-hour caffeine rush, feel free to come watch the spectacle. I could use the moral support.

My cold is getting worse, too. I slept for two hours this afternoon, and I still feel bad. My back is starting to hurt, and I think I somehow pulled a muscle. Probably sneezing or coughing.

Meltzer's radio show is now available in podcasts, so I broke down and installed iTunes. I'm not too fond of it, but what really bugs me is the third-party stuff from PodBridge. It only works with Internet Explorer, which is like saying to me "We refuse to actually support the internet, and would like to infect your computer." I hate proprietary formats, too, but that's a different story altogether.

So I bring this challenge to my readers: Find me a podcast I'll like. I've already got Meltzer and the Onion show, so suggest to me something that's good. You know from the music selections I put on my posts that I'll listen to just about everything, so I'm open to anything. Well, no midget porn, but besides that, anything.

I'm going to go take some more pills and get more sleep. As soon as I wake up tomorrow, I'll have to get going, and I really hate having to do that. Yes, I know that I don't actually have to have anything done until the 10th, but I don't want to be up all night next week trying to cobble something together.

Anybody want to do some legwork on the history of the Olympics or trends in adolescent aggression? Please?

I'm a loser

The Beatles - I'm a Loser (pops)

I'm both bored and stressed out. How weird is that?

I think it's that I'm being inundated by busywork, but I'm not really learning anything I consider useful, or at least in three out of four classes I'm not. HGD, I learn plenty, and it's in a subject that actualy applies to what I want to do.

Although, to be honest, if you really want to know what I want to do, it's to be a stay-at-home parent, who writes and tutors on the side. I think I'd be content raising my kid(s) and writing novels or short-stories on the side. The only problem is finding a wife who is okay with being the breadwinner while her husband is the domestic half. In this day and age, you'd think there would be more women who would be comfortable with the idea, but there simply aren't, at least in my experience. Maybe it's got something to do with growing up in the Bible Belt, but even in the liberal center (Athens), so-called "traditional" values still rule the roost.

Tomorrow, it's the start of a brand new unit in both of my classes, so I'm sure to be bored out of my skull. I'm dreading the grades for both of the tests, but hopefully they won't be back in until next week. The thing about complicated tests is, as long as it takes to take them, it takes almost as long to grade them, especially if they're subjective, like essays.

Well, I'm going to try and get some sleep. My cold is coming back, and I'm currently under the influence of some non-narcotic cold pills. I would have taken the good ones, but I've got to get up in the morning. And since I've got somewhere between nine and fifteen pages to write over the weekend, I won't get to sleep this weekend wither. I took a nice long nap this afternoon, but it will probably be the longest but of continued sleep I'll have for a while. I love college.