Thursday, February 09, 2006

love is only a feeling

The Darkness - Love is Only a Feeling (pops)

I hate this time of year.

It's worse than Christmas, because on Christmas, there's always your family to fall back on.

On Valentine's Day, if you don't have anyone, it's you against a tide of advertising, programming, and the pervasive feeling of "not fitting in". Love, and the world loves you. Don't love, and the world is indifferent to your plight, possibly even actively against you. It sucks.

On top of that, it's the time fo the year when the teachers realize they don't have any grades, and that project they've been meaning to assign needs to be on this quarter's report. I get to wall up in my room and do nothing but research and write for a few weeks, and the teachers look good on their evaluations. Everybody wins, or not.

I haven't been able to do any of the things I like to do, like play video games or watch lucha or write for pleasure (like on here, for instance) because I've got too much work to do. The word "burn-out" is slowly flickering in my mind. I swear, if the pace doesn't let up a little bit, I'm going to completely stop giving a shit. As it is, I'm giving maybe three-quarters of a shit at best. More than not, it's less than half.

The sad, frustrating thing of it all is this: the more trouble I have writing something like a paper, the worse I feel. The worse I feel, the more trouble I have writing. The creative process, when it works, is the best thing in the world. When it doesn't, it's like pulling teeth with no anaesthesia.

And it comes back around to not having anybody to bounce ideas off, to help me let off some frustration.

I hate this time of year. I really do.


Blogger 'Thought & Humor' said...


If I could speak in any
language in heaven or
on earth but didn't love
others, I would only be
making meaningless noise
like a loud gong or a
clanging cymbal. If I
had the gift of prophecy,
and if I knew all the
mysteries of the future
and knew everything
about everything, but
didn't love others, what
good would I be? And
if I had the gift of faith
so that I could speak
to a mountain and make
it move, without love
I would be no good to
anybody. If I gave
everything I have to
the poor and even
sacrificed my body,
I could boast about it;
but if I didn't love others,
I would be of no value
whatsoever. Love is
patient and kind. Love
is not jealous or boastful
or proud or rude. Love
does not demand its
own way. Love is not
irritable, and it keeps
no record of when it
has been wronged.
It is never glad about
injustice but rejoices
whenever the truth
wins out. Love never
gives up, never loses
faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through
every circumstance.

May You Always
Experience This
Kind Of Love,
Dr. Howdy

10:21 PM


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