Monday, November 29, 2004

save it for later

Sorry about the hiatus. Holidays combined with projects due for school means no time for blogging.

I rewatched IWA:MS KOTDM 2004 yesterday. I kind of zoned out the first time I watched it, and didn't pay attention to how the matches were laid out.

Man, Tank from NWA Wildside is a damn good worker. Seriously. I almost never get excited by a deathmatch, but his match with Deranged in the first round got me into it. The spots, grisly as they were, made sense in the context of the match. It was really cool to see Tank go for the submission twice, once with the knife to the face and once with the barbedwire STF. And Deranged deserves a lot of credit for taking such abuse, especially the lighttube board to the face.

Yes, you read that right. A knife to the face. Actually it was more the mouth than the face. He bled like a stuck pig.

Corporal Robinson is also one of those guys who gets you into the match, especially in the last match where you can see him go all out to win the (then supposedly) last KOTDM. The brawling around the gym makes total sense, with the various lighttube contraptions sprawled about. He's strangely charismatic, in that he has a great cathcphrase, and he looks like he might snap and kill you.

The catchphrase?

"Fear what you don't understand and hate what you can't conquer, bitch!"

See? Cool.

Necro Butcher is just insane. Anyone with a signature shirt that says "Choose Death" is alright in my book.

The only real lackluster match in the first round was, surprsingly, Webb/Rotten. It should have gone a lot longer, but I understand why it didn't. My problem with it was that there was no psych to the match. No "wrestling" was involved, besides the Arachnid Kick to the back with the lighttubes underneath Ian's shirt. Ian could've busted out some matwork and Nate could've busted out a tumbleweed or two, and it would've been good. As it is, the match could've been a lot better.

Enough wrestling ranting. I really need someone to argue wrestling with. This one-sided review feels empty.

See you later, and try the veal.

Monday, November 22, 2004

come inside my sugar walls

Stupid television corrupting my mind with highly suggestive lyrics from bad Sheena Easton versions of resolutely filthy Prince songs.

I'm battening down the hatches preparing for the torrential rains coming down on my little trailer. It's already raining pretty hard, and it's the kind that will get worse as the night goes on. This is even worse when you factor in the location of my bed in the house, as it's at a corner of the structure, and (being a vintage 1978 singlewide) it's tinny metal on three sides of me. Makes for a loud and sleepless night.

I've officially submitted the first draft of my Christmas list. Mostly PS2 games, in the hope that I can get a PS2. Other than that, it's CDs for my relatives who think they look trashy by giving me money. Go ahead, look trashy. I can guarantee that I can stretch whatever money you give me into more than the gift you get me is worth. I still have about $150 left over from three Christmases ago.

I'm easily the tightest person I know as far as money goes, just ask FMJ about playing poker. I only go in if I have a straight or better.

The loosest person I know? Probably Kate.

(Just seeing if you're paying attention, buttercup. Don't hit me.)

I've come to the conclusion that Lil' Jon is a genius. He's made a career out of three basic words: yeah, ok, and what. Only in America.

That and he's a great beat composer. I mean, listen to the beat from "Yeah" and try not to at least tap your foot. It's impossible.

Crunk is the best parts of hip-hop and punk mixed together. You can definitely hear the influence of bands like the Sex Pistols and Public Image Limited in the beats. I would go as far as to say I hear a little bit of the Pixies or even Gang of Four swimming in there.

It's almost time for wrestling. It's been an exciting week as far as normal sports go, let's see how "sports entertainment" fares. I predict one massive brawl out into the crowd on Raw, just because they can.

Speaking of wrestling, I never got anything back from JS when I made him the IWA:MS 2004 Deathmatch specialty comp. I'll have to beat him up next time I see him.

Speaking of not getting anything back from trades, I never got the Modest Mouse CD from Rhino. Another beatdown to add to my list.

Speaking of weird friends, today I put together a blog for my midget stoner friend Trey, at Yes, it's an absurdly long URL. We roll like that.

Look for his semi-regular drug fueled rantings to appear in a special guest spot on my site soon.

I'm looking for feedback in any capacity regarding my blog, my site design,or even my sexy, sexy body (6.6 on HotOrNot!).

Let me know how I can serve you better. Feel free to either leave a comment or email me. If you don't, God kills a dozen kittens.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

welshmen unite!

Yeah, I don't know what exactly that means, either.

Somebody donate money to me. I'll use it to
  1. Get my own domain name
  2. Get more wrestling goodness, especially injury tapes for Rhino
  3. Get a subscription to the Wrestling Observer
For those of you who don't know, the Observer is THE news source for wrestling all around the world, from WWE to little podunk indies to MMA to handicapped Japanese wrestling.

Yes, I'm serious about the last one. Look up the DOGLEGS promotion. It's physically handicapped Japanese people wrestling. I'm talking severe deformations, from no legs to no arms to no limbs period. I'll try to get some tapes if I can get some donations. Copies for everybody who donates to the cause. And probably a free, all-expenses-paid trip to the deepest pits of Hell.

I'm extremely bored sitting here at home. You know the feeling when every movie's been watched, every game's been played, none of your friends are online, and there was nothing good in the mail? It's like that today.

Maybe I'll just kill a hobo. That usually cheers me up.

I'm kidding.


I usually stick to tramps and mendicants, not hobos.

I've got no new ideas for NFTM. Will's got a good one, and at this point if I can get one good story a week I'm fine. I mean, the Onion only publishes once a week, right?

Does your return to posting mean a return(?) to NFTM, Rhino?

The following people need to update on threats of gross-porn-emails (a la Tubgirl): JS, Ashley B, Will, Funkmaster.

Keep it real, yo, cause we're bad boy for life.

Thursday, November 18, 2004

nice shoes. wanna fuck?

My new all purpose pick-up line.

I'm sitting here in Web Page, bored out of my mind. See, not only am I smart, I work fast. Ergo, what takes everyone else three days to finish takes me a day, and that's with frequent breaks to check DVDVR and CrazyMax.

I'm currently looking on HotOrNot making snap judgements about a person's looks that may or may not ruin their self-esteem. It's a living.

Supposed to be getting in an order of tapes soon. Pro Wrestling Guerrilla from SoCal. They're supposed to bring the funny in addition to bringing the wrestling goodness.

Speaking of wrestling goodness, my icon Raven Mack just released the second Heart Punch loveletter. Shirley Doe is officially the coolest IWC champion in history.

Calculus is getting easier. I made a 64 on the last test (score!), but that's better than most of the class. No one got higher than around an 85, and the median was about a 50. The lowest grade anyone would admit to was a 19.

The last part of differential calculus made little to no sense, but integral calculus is making all sorts of logic flow in my brain.

I still hate the entire subject, though.

Digital Media Technology is officially the stupidest class I have ever been in, and that includes fingerpainting in kindergarten. I think he's finally given up completely on teaching.

Specific list of complaints, for Mom of KR:
  • Unable to handle simple technology, like a digital camera. Head and I have to take pictures for him.
  • Unable to make his own lesson plans. He uses plans he stole from his old school of Dunwoody High more than three years ago, and doesn't even bother to retype them and fix the spelling mistakes. As a result, half of the work we do is going to websites that haven't been up for two years and telling him they're down. How long has Northern Light been a commercial engine? Two and a half years or so? We had several assignemtns in which we were supposed to go there to do searches, and we were unable to do it.
  • This ties in with my next complaint, which is that he doesn't even check to see if the stuff he assigns is possible. He gave us a video project where we would have to shoot all over the school, then edit it down on eithe MovieMaker or Ulead. He didn't know that you we didn't have firewire ports or RCA ports on our comps until we had already shot a lot of footage.
  • He doesn;t know how to manage a classroom. There are two kids in there who don't put up with his crap. He yells at them for half the class, and the people who actually do work don't get anything done.
  • He shows favoritism to his baseball players. I know, a complete shocker. There's one kid in there who hasn't turned anything in the entire year, yet he gets "special projects" to do, like running to the printer room. He should have a zero. As it stands, he's got a 65 or so.

End rant. I could come up with more, but it would take more than the fifteen minutes I spent on this.

Enough blog. Somehow, I feel better and worse at the same time.

Monday, November 15, 2004

this is an intriguing turn

Well, looks like JS has a girlfriend now.

We beat the hated Morgan County High academic team 450-235.

Pay up, Kate.

In other news, I saw some of the PPV last night. No, I didn't pay for it. What kind of idiot do you think I am?

I always check to see if the cable company has accidentally left the feed on, and for the big four PPVs (Royal Rumble, Wrestlemania, Summerslam, and Survivor Series), they usually do. I got to see WMXX this way, and I thank the fine folks at Adelphia for it.

I checked the feed in the living room as it started, and no go. So I forgot about it. Later on, at about 9:30, I get ready to go to bed, turn on the TV in my room, remember to switch it over to the PPV channel, and lo and behold, it's on.

I was halfway through the opening hype package for JBL/Booker. I think to myself, "This shouldn't suck that bad". Well, I've been wrong before, and here I have the proof. Just boring, with no real psych (not that I was real concerned about psych, as I was ready to go to sleep).

I make it through the match (flipping back to Pimp My Ride and VH1 Classic frequently), and it's time for the RAW eight-man.

I watch up to the first elimination: Benoit.

Now, tell me, what sense does it make to have the man with arguably the best workrate, arguably the most reason to hate Evolution, be the first one eliminated?

I turned it to ESPNEWS and promptly fell asleep, as I am wont to do.

That's right, I turned down a FREE PPV telecast. Can you say "all time low for the product"? I know I can.

I'd at least watch Turning Point (Dec. 5) if the TNA email system was on time and I remembered to check the feed.

I'm sorry, I don't really get the Snitsky love. As a "so bad he's good", he's not that bad, and as a "so good he's good", he's not that good. He's really just there, a la Tomko.

I enjoy Luther on SD!, just because he's not cartoony. He's just a big bad-ass who looks halfway credible in the ring. I can dig that. You have to remember, I grew up on Ray Traylor matches, and Luther's playing 1996-era Ray Traylor as a complete heel enforcer.

I half-way enjoy Heiden-Red-Skull, just because of my Heyman markdom.

That's it. Put Cornette with Snitsky, and we have a match made in Hea... well, let's just say a match.

That's enough wrestling gibberish for now. CubsFan is probably the only one who understood all of that.

I'm tired after the three hour total bus ride to and from Morgan County, so I'll see y'all later. I'm gonna go watch RAW and see if I can stay awake through it, which is usually not the case these days.

And if you write for NFTM, write an article this week or be prepared to get yelled at something fierce.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

this is how we do it

Montell Jordan everybody. Give him a hand.

Remind me not to be a UGA fan when it's an important game. Any game I ignore, they do well, and whenever I look forward to a game, they inevitably screw it up.

I've picked up four new wrestling DVDs over the past couple of weeks. History of Wrestlemania I-IX, Shawn Michaels: Boyhood Dream, and two different two-packs from Delta Media, one with a generic best-of from WCWA, USWA, and GWF combined with the best of Booker T from Texas, and one with best-ofs from Steve Austin and Catcus Jack, from the same era.

I've been sick pretty much all weekend, starting on Friday (no school for me!). Stupid stomach thing again.

Then, Saturday, I spent most of the day at Wal-Mart standing outside in the cold trying to sell books.

Not my choice. Stupid Beta Club fundraiser.

I'd love to quit, but the rents won't let me. They claim it will "look good on a college application".

Well, I've already sent out my applications. Plus, I've already decided to go to the local community college for two years and get my associate's (secondary education, language arts focus) before transferring to a four-year place to get my BA.

Yes, that's right, I'll be teaching your kids, at least if you live in the greater Athens area. Scary huh?

That is, at least, unless I can get a job booking some indy wrestling show down south. I'm building my contacts, slowly but surely.

Hey, a guy can dream, right?

Been playing Tekken 2 and 3 a lot lately.

Kunimitsu sucks. Just so you know.

Also, Baek and Hwoarang are the absolute best in the game(s).

Raven Mack, I can't wait for the next Heart Punch loveletter. Bring it on. Maybe next time I'll get around to writing something for it. It IS good practice for a career related to creative writing, after all.

Enough blog. Must continue my irridiated rampage through the streets of Tokyo.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

to infinity and beyond

So, how are you? Good? good.

I updated to Firefox 1.0, so now all my cool-ass extensions have to be redownloaded.

Most are incompatible, like my favorite, the Image Toolbar.

Hopefully any fixes can be put out in the next few days, so I can renew my downloading of por... homework.

Yeah, homework. Let's stick with that.

Speaking of which, the cycle of tests has come around, and I don't have any homework to do for the next couple of days.

Not that I'm complaining.

I'm glad, because calculus has been up my ass something fierce, what with my sterling grade of 60 on that last quiz. Hopefully I either A) did well on the test, or B) did about as bad as I did on the quiz, and so did everybody else.

I actually felt kind of confident on some of the test, so I probably bombed it like Hiroshima.

I finally broke down and registered for DVDVR, instead of lurking like some kind of stalker, like I have been for the past two-ish years.

Poor IWA:MS. According to Dave Meltzer, they lost a good deal of money bringing in bigger names for shows. As such, they'll have to scale down.

I actually think this is kind of a good idea, as it means Ian and Prazak have to come up with better booking to compensate for the loss of name value. I really enjoy the undercard matches with native talent more than (for example) Samoa Joe or AJ Styles matches.

Give me Nate Webb or give me death! (Note to self: put Nate's site on sidebar links column.)

I've been playin guitar more than I used to. I learned three new songs over last weekend, specifically The Cure's "Pictures of You" and "Friday I'm in Love", and Fountains of Wayne's "Valley Winter Song".

Weirdly enough, I've been listening almost exclusively to mashups at the "office". Favorites include Eminem vs. Prodigy "Superman", Destiny's Child vs. The Cardigans "My Favorite Name", and Jet vs. Animal (Muppets) "Are You Gonna be My Animal". Links available upon request.

Everybody's been kind of cool lately. No one's really blown up at me or anybody else. Just as I say that, though, watch something happen.

I'm down to a 4.7 on Hotornot, which I attribute to people recognizing me and putting 1's because they can. What makes it worse is that my stoner midget friend Trey has a 6.7, and he's short and stoned.

Or maybe I'm genuinely just average-looking, instead of the rampaging sex god my ego thinks I am.


Enough blog. Bye, for now.

Monday, November 08, 2004

who's your daddy, brit hume?

Here's the list of things that piss me off:
  • People intolerant of other people's cultures
  • the Dutch
But really,

Here's the list of people/things that piss me off:
  • Bourgeois bitches (and yes, I did have to look that one up. Down here, we just say "boojie")
  • People who value school sports over academics
  • Fox News. Fair and balanced my ass.
  • People who have no grasp of technology. (Not you, KR. I'm talking about people who aren't sure how to turn on a computer. George Buoy, I'm looking at you.)
  • Bad television. "Yes, Dear", I'm looking at you.
  • Bad music (Somebody write a good goddamned three-minute pop song besides Fountains of Wayne. I don't need to hear anyone bitching for ten minutes over a horrible beat. I get it. Your life sucks. Move on. Write a song about getting laid or getting drunk. Or both.)
  • People who think they're smarter than they are
  • People who can't lose an argument gracefully
  • People who can't grasp basic threads of logic
  • The Dutch. God, I hate those bastards.
There. Enough blogging/bitching for one night. Don't piss me off between now and Thanksgiving, citizens of the Universe. You wouldn't like me when I'm really angry, not just annoyed slightly. I may write a scathing retort on a website that no one reads.

And leave comments, wouldja? or at least email telling me I suck. The links are right there on the sidebar.

Speaking of which, I cleaned up some of the links, and am looking to add some more. Email me with the site, and I'll put it through the registration process (Which is basically me looking at the site and deciding whether or not it's funny/interesting enough for me to want to be assocaited with it).

My Internet Empire (patent pending) is growing ever so slightly.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

firefox rules

I've spent most of the day contemplating Firefox's status of rulingness, and I must say it rules greatly.

With what other browser can I do a search in Google without lifting a finger?

Internet Explorer, at least with the Google toolbar.

But what about Google Image Search?
Altavista and Altavista Image Search?

and many more.

I can do an immediate bandwidth test from Firefox.

I can even do translations and definitions by highlighting and right-clicking.

I wholeheartedly endorse Firefox from this point forward (and added a button on my sidebar so the masses can acquire it).

Why did I ever use IE?

(And the whole "I haven't had any new spyware in about a week" thing is great, too.)

In other news, I've been formulating my Christmas list. Short, really.

Just a PS2, a mod kit, and five or so games.

Plus money. Money's always good.

Took the SAT yesterday. Probably did alright, just because the good-luck omen that is FMJ sat to my right. He probably sucked ass. That's what he gets for waiting till he's a senior before taking it the first time.

(Five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time for me, baby.)

Rhino got into the college of his choice (no, not Athens Bartending College), and I'm happy for him. Now he's just got to survive eight semesters in Atlanta with the massive temptaion of Buckhead in the background.

He'll do alright. I'll probably never see him again after May, though.

JS is still undecided. Guess it's a life of hobo-dom for him!

FMJ is probably going to try to go to UNLV, mostly because of the fact you don't need an SAT to get in, but also because of its proximity to the shirt-losing capital of the world.

I'm just gonna go to the local community college for a couple of years, save some money, and sponge off the rents for a while.

Then, I'll probably become a porn star.

(For those of you who actually know what I look like, the above statement is much, much funnier.)

Speaking of porno, I put my pic in the running for Hot Or Not competition.
No, I will not publish the direct link here, but let's just say there's a very studly 97-year old on there who is worth at least a 9.

Enough blog (and personal embarrassment). Must go watch the finish of the NASCAR race and contemplate my redneck-ness and its juxtaposition with my geekiness.

Friday, November 05, 2004

life in these united states

Did I just reference Reader's Digest? I swear officer, it was unintentional.

News For The Masses is now 100% Firefox compatible. Go me!

If you don't go to NFTM right now, you'll regret it. We may get sued over our libel one day, and you'll want to say "I knew NFTM back when it was borderline legal".

You'll probably say it anyway.

Dirty Charlatan.

That's it. New band name alert: S.Foster and the Dirty Charlatans.

Other contenders for names include

  • Bongfish

  • the Mescaline Tacos

  • the Penn Jillette Motherfuckers

More to come later.

Notice how I always say that, but rarely, if ever, deliver. You guys must hate me, if you don't already.

I really don't care about the election, as I have friends in Canada, plus I'm related to several dozen hardcore rednecks with astoundingly huge arsenals of semi-legal assault weapons.

Just like the Scouts always said:
Be prepared, motherfuckers.

Yes, the Scouts said "motherfucker".

I've got no real work to do over the weekend, as no teachers have deigned to assign me anything concrete, but I've got a quiz and a presentation due in two separate classes, so I have to, that's right, BPMF.

Who's that weirdo leaving comments on your blog, Kate? It must be someone you know, but the profile seems legit. Or maybe it's just a complete crackpot ala JS.

I wish I had more wrasslin', but the trades/shills are really slowgoing in the months between holidays. Hopefully business will pick up near Christmas.

Enough blog. Must prepare to best my score on the SAT's tomorrow (1410 single session, 1470 combined). Sure, the test is skewed against minorities (no problems there, for me at least) and is in no way representative of intelligence or academic performance, but it'll be fun.

Everyone post your SAT scores on here, and I shall see if I can beat them.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

cobra commander is dead

So what if he didn't carry Michigan? He's still our supreme Viper.

Here's your REVIVED picture of the day:

Look JS, it's pussy!

Tuesday I bought a new printer (HP3520, if anyone cares) and a DVD (History of Wrestlemania I-IX). Thank God for Wally World. Where else can you get a printer for $28.88? Besides your local crackhead, I mean.

I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

Random keyword time: gangsta nation, cocaine, meth, ecstasy, MDMA, LSD, lysergic acid, Jenna Haze, Brianna Banks, naked, nude, porno, porn, pr0n, up in the heezy, deanna is your savior, star trek, jinkies, jute, hemp, weed, chronic, etcetera.

How's that? Good? Good.

I finally switched over to Firefox at home. Head, you're proud of me, right?

My blog looks cooler in FF anyway.

Now, NFTM on the other hand...

I've still got work to do on the template for NFTM. It looks fine when I pull the source code from the template screen, but when I publish, it doesn't recognize the division tags. I would work on it at work/school, but there's no Firefox to be had here. IE all the way.

I may work on the NFTM template later today, but probably not. I've got to get to my "office" now.


Monday, November 01, 2004

make you holler hidey-ho

With the coming election, I feel it is necessary to make public my endorsement for president.

I hereby endorse Cobra Commander for President of the United States.

He is a proven leader, from the Crimson Guard to the ranks of Vipers.

He is an avowed enemy of the hated G.I. Joe.

He is tough on the war on Serpentor.

He is truly the best man for the job.

His Vice-Presidential candidate, Destro, is initmately familiar with the intricacies of running a business, as he ran his family's economic empire for many years.

With this, I wholeheartedly support Cobra Commander for the presidency in 2004.

So, with that out of the way, when's Osama gonna get caught?

(If that doesn't get me on the government blacklist, nothing will.)

Head, we missed your hungover ass today.

Rhino, we took the test (I probably failed!) and then wrote Anglo-Saxon poetry. I got done in about five minutes, while everyone else was barely through the first line.

Also, if you don't restart your blog, I'm gona come over to your house and kick you in the throat.

Anyone who can spot te reference in the title (without the aid of Google) is automatically placed in a drawing for a prize.

Yes, there's going to be a real prize.

And my prizes are usually pretty good. Just ask Rhino and his 6 hours of injuries.

Enough blog. People all over the world, join hands.


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