Saturday, January 29, 2005

and I saw her face

Now I'm a believer.

The weather here SUCKS today. We didn't get snow. I could deal with snow. No, we got ice, and lots of it.

Let me explain for the uninitiated: metal roof + no insulation + sleet all night long = no sleep for your favorite internet personality.

(And I did't get any sleep either.)

TheCubsFan is obviously pissed now, as Sosa is headed to Baltimore. It is funny, however, to see CubsFan slowly lose his mind over this.

I finally put a new copy of the Java Runtime Environment on my comp last night. I haven't gotten around to it before now because it's a 15MB download, and I'm on dial-up. So I took two and a half hours last night and installed it. Now I can look at crappy webcams and even crappier animated websites. Go team.

Send me porn.

Not you, JS, because we've already established your inability to recognize female genitalia. You might accidentally send me something wholesome.

But everyone else, send me porn. By the buckets full.

Visit my message board at Seven members and counting. MY internet empire is slowly growing. Now if I can just get that porn site up and running...

I'm trying to get into more MMA. I'm looking for eight-hour comps, but I don't want to buy. Trades are better. I'd like a huge variety of stuff, from Pride to streetfights to K-1 to Shooto to the little pissant promotions like Demolition! or whatever the MMA equivalent to Saitama Pro is.

Also, I'd like to get some DOGLEGS tapes. Just for the sheer entertainment value.

(For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, three words: handicapped professional wrestling.)

Go to my message board, click on my ads, and be nice. Later.

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

even newer board

I got tired of not being able to do much with the old board, so it's out. I'll still keep it up for nostalgia, though.

The new board is located at

Go forth, young people, and be merry. Or at least borderline mediocre.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

roll over, beethoven

Remember when I used to update every single day?

Yeah, that didn't last very long.

At least I update more than JS. It's the little things that keep me happy.

I feel like this will be a song post. That being said, here goes, schmoes.


Sub-Theme: Songs about heroin used to sell ocean cruises, soda, and Disney movies.


The La's - There She Goes

There she goes
There she goes again
Racing thru' my brain
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains
There she blows
There she blows again
Pulsing thru' my vein
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains
There she goes, there she goes again
She calls my name, pulls my train
No-one else could heal my pain
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains
There she goes
There she goes again
Chasing down my lane
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains


Iggy Pop - Lust for Life

Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
He's gonna do another strip tease.
Hey man, where'd ya get that lotion?
I've been hurting since I've bought the gimmick
about something called love
Yeah, something called love.
Well, that's like hypnotizing chickens.
Well, I'm just a modern guy
Of course, I've had it in the ear before.
I have a lust for life
'Cause of a lust for life.
I'm worth a million in prizes
With my torture film
Drive a GTO
Wear a uniform all on a government loan.
I'm worth a million in prizes
Yeah, I'm through with sleeping on the sidewalk
No more beating my brains
No more beating my brains
With liquor and drugs
With liquor and drugs.
Well, I'm just a modern guy
Of course, I've had it in my ear before
Well, I've a lust for life (lust for life)
'Cause of a lust for life (lust for life, oooo)
I got a lust for life (oooo)
Got a lust for life (oooo)
Oh, a lust for life (oooo)
Oh, a lust for life (oooo)
A lust for life (oooo)
I got a lust for life (oooo)
Got a lust for life.
Well, I'm just a modern guy Of course,
I've had it in my ear before
Well, I've a lust for life
'Cause I've a lust for life.
Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine He's gonna do another strip tease.
Hey man, where'd ya get that lotion?
Your skin starts itching once you buy the gimmick about something called love
Love, love, love
Well, that's like hypnotizing chickens.
Well, I'm just a modern guy
Of course, I've had it in the ear before
And I've a lust for life (lust for life)
'Cause I've a lust for life (lust for life)
Got a lust for life Yeah,
a lust for life
I got a lust for life
A lust for life
Got a lust for life
Yeah a lust for life
I got a lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life
Lust for life


Cab Calloway - Kickin' The Gong Around

It was down in Chinatown,
All the cokies laid around,
Some were high and some were mighty low;
There were millions on the floor
When a knock came on the door,
And there stood old Smoky Joe.

He was sweatin', cold and pale,
He was lookin' for his frail,
He was broke and all his junk ran out;
Nobody made a sound,
As he stood and looked around,
And then you hear old Smoky shout:

Saying, "Tell me where is Minnie?
My poor Minnie!
Has she been here,
Kicking the gong around?"

"If you don't know Minnie,
She's tall and skinny,
She gets her pleasure
Kicking the gong around!"

[Scat chorus]

"Just tell her Smoky Joe
Was here and had to go."
And as he departed,
The curtains parted,
And there stood Minnie
Kicking the gong around!


Red Guitar - Loudon Wainwright III

Used to have a red guitar
'Till I smashed it one drunk night
Smashed in the classic form
As Peter Townshend might
Threw it in the fireplace
I left it there a while
Kate she started cryin when
She saw my sorry smile

Red guitar was made of wood
Could not take the heat
Red guitar it caught on fire
And the damage was complete
It burned until all that was left
Was six pegs and six strings
Kate she said, "You are a fool
You've done a foolish thing"

Placed the remains in the case
And I put the case away
Went to New York City
For a new guitar the next day
I bought myself a blonde guitar
I had it for three days
Some junkie stole my blonde guitar
God works in wonderous ways


That's a good one to go out on. Don't kill each other.

Saturday, January 22, 2005

figure it out

Usual deal. Figure it out, get a prize. Could be real, could be internet. Spin the wheel, make the deal.

No matter what, you're not getting a Coal Miner's Glove match with Sting and Jake Roberts.

Here goes:

SF GL/ED/MU/AT d- s+;++ a---/? C++ UL-- P? L E? W+++ N+ o K- W+ O? M- V? PS+/+++ PE++ Y++ PGP t+ 5 X+ R+ tv++ b++++ DI++++ D+ G+++ e/+++/* h! r y+/**


Guesses can be sent to here. Bonus points for catching the reference above.

I added another batch of links and ads on the site. Too bad none of them make me any money. If I can ever get a credit card, that will change. AdSense here I come!

Click on as many of the links as you feel necessary.

And by that, I mean all of them.

I played Tekken 4 today for the first time since Christmas. Is it me or did they spend so much time on certain new characters that they forgot to make the older ones (Kazuya in particular) as interesting or as moveset intensive. Steve Fox has like 125 moves while Kaz only has 65. I call shenanigans.

I had two or three different people come up to me IRL to show support for my last post. Either I'm a local celebrity and I didn't know it, or this just really struck a nerve with some people. Either way is good for me.

Visit my board. Now. I mean it. I'm getting sad. Everytime you pass up an opportunity to post on there, God kills a really cute kitten. I think he burns them alive. Do you want that on your conscience?

As for tomorrow's NFL games, go Falcons and go Steelers. I want to see Roth vs. Vick: The War to Settle The Nonexistant Score.

More than that, I have a deep, unrelenting, logic-defying, hate for the Pats, and I am completely indifferent to the Eagles.

Click on the links. Go ahead. You know you want to.

Just a quick notice: I am not in the business of selling, nor have I ever sold, any copies of tapes copyrighted by Ring of Honor Wrestling. Read my tape list, if you have a copy, and you will see the disclaimer clear as day at the top stating "I DO NOT SELL COPIES OF TAPES FROM ACTIVE PROMOTIONS. These companies deserve your dollar more than I do. Please support these promotions directly to allow these companies to continue providing entertainment."

Besides, I think ROH kind of sucks anyway. I have some tapes, and it blows in my opinion. I will take IWA:MS any single day of the week. I like the smallest IWA:MS show better than the biggest ROH show. I'm a big fan of undercard matches, and have been since I got started in the game with WCW. I never liked the Main Event compared to the openers. IWA:MS has a much more fun to watch undercard, with people like Double C, Eddie Kingston, and Nate Webb, doing their kind of match. I am just not that entertained by the workrate marks. It has its place, but not for an entire show. Give me goofy people to root for like Nate Webb. Give me people like Ian Rotten who's bled and bled for my enjoyment. Give me people who make me believe like Dusty Rhodes. Sure, I also like the pure technical guys like Chris Hero, but I like Arik Cannon better because he mixes up the technical ability with fantastic heeling and expression. It's supposed to be a circus. RoH is too much of one or two things for me. IWA:MS provides flyers, matwork, brawlers, hardcore, comedy, and spot monkeys. I like IWA:MS better. Plain and simple.

Wow, that went on for too long. Sorry. I promise not to do that for a couple of days, at least.

Click on the links. They're pretty. And shiny.

Enough for now. Have fun and don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Man, that narrows it right down, don't it?

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Jesus Fonseca, Jr.

This post is a little out of the ordinary for me, but here goes:

Sometimes, the U.S. government pisses me off. I don't know who this guy is, I've never met him, but I feel for him and his family.

Jesus Fonseca, Jr. was a Mexican citizen who lived in Marietta, GA for the past ten years, going to school.

He loved America. So much so that he enlisted in the Army the first chance he got. His mother desperately wanted him to attend college, but he had a such a strong desire to serve his adopted homeland that he went against his mother's wishes.

He was sent overseas a lively, energetic boy.

He came back in a body bag.

Or rather, he came back to Georgia. His family wants him to be buried in Jalisco, Mexico. The government refuses to ship his body to Mexico, and will only ship to Georgia.

His family doesn't have the money to ship his body to Mexico, so they're looking for help. It should only cost about US$600 to cover the charges, but the government will not accomodate the family's wishes.

If you live in Georgia, or even in America, please help correct this government blunder. There is a fund set up at the Wachovia branch in Marietta, and they really want to raise this money quick.

WSBTV, the ABC affiliate in Atlanta, should have more information soon.

Please help, but if you can't afford anything, at least keep him and his family in your prayers. I know I will.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

no, I won't do that

I have a Harley Davidson throw blanket hanging in my room now.

Draw your own conclusions.

No, I havne't joined a biker gang hell-bent on dealing crank and stealing your girlfriend. I do that on my own. I don't need a gang.

What it really comes down to is that it's colder than a metaphor down here in usually balmy Georgia. I put blankets over the windows in my room where there's practically no heat.

As a side effect, there is now no natural light getting into my room at all. Then again, (despite my relatively diurnal internal clock,) I'm a creature of the night.

I feel like I should make this a music post, but I'm too lazy to connect to the Internet right now. (Yes, I compose all of these in Notepad before posting. I guess that explains the relative dearth of spelling and grammar errors. Also, the whole "wanting to be a Lit teacher" thing might have something to do with it.)

I have played almost no PS2 games this week. I'm thinking about making a run to a rental place and stocking up on potential purchases. Possibly Fight Night, GTA:SA, and the last UFC game, since I liked the Pride FC game so much.

I should also probably look into buying a used copy of some old Maddens from 2000 to 2003. I freaking love Madden '04, and would probably get a lot of enjoyment for my gaming dollar.

I also want to play the NFL 2K series to get a feel for their system, even though I think I'll end up still liking Madden more.

Maybe I'll rent some DVDs too. I think I want to see Harold and Kumar, Napoleon Dynamite, and a few others.

Also, porn.

Something tasteful, with lots of unnecessary nudity.

And maybe a little anal thrown in.

But tasteful.

Anyways, I'm horribly bored with school in particular, and life in general. I guess the glamour of being Star Student has officially worn off.

Wow, I am updating too much these days. I really have to cut back.

Maybe, as a substitute, I'll take up smoking. Since I can legally purchase smokes now.

But I'm really not a cigarette man. I'm probably more of a cigar or pipe man.

Yeah, that's what I need. A big fat pipe in front of my face proclaiming to the world "This man thinks he's better than you".

Nah. Packing a pipe is entirely too much labor for someone with my level of work ethic, which is to say, non-existant.

Unless someone wants to send me a pipe, or some cigars. I always accept donations.

Let me reiterate:


Send me stuff. I provide the content for free. It's the least you can do.

Wait, scratch that. The least you can do is nothing, or even actively doing me harm. So let's just agree that it's the least of the myriad prodcutive things you can do.

Short list of people or things that piss me off:

Cheerleaders, competitive or otherwise.

Cheerleading coaches, specifically competitive.

Coaches in general, with the exception of soccer. All the soccer coaches I've known have either been really cool or involved in secret trysts with their students, which takes balls. Or, both, though I have no concrete proof for most of my allegations.

People who don't comment on blogs. Myself included 90% of the time.

People who don't update their blogs. Myslef included.

Russian Literature. I've got to read Turganev for AP Lit. I consider myself pretty well read, yet have never heard of good old Ivan. Anybody want to throw me a bone?

Puppies. They're just slobbering piles of fluff. As opposed to kittens, which are so cute that they make grown men and women wet themselves at the slightest glimmer.

And that's about enough. Somewhere I read that you should keep blog posts short and frequent. I'll stick to long and sporadic, thank you very much.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

simply commercial

I spent about an hour doing promotion work for the blog.

Notice those spiffy new link buttons in the sidebar down at the bottom?

Your donation dollars at work.

Didn't donate?


That's in addition to the four or so hours I spent working for my uncle doing computer setup. Windows ME is truly a curse upon the world. Never try to migrate to XP from an ME.

If you're running ME, do everyone a favor and castrate yourself now. Spare the world your seed. We've got enough idiots, thanks.

And if you're not running SOME kind of AV, just paint the roof of your mouth with buckshot. Really, you've got no business behing a keyboard.

Oh well, ten bucks an hour is ten bucks an hour.

Even though I would've rather done eviction work for my uncle instead. He rents out about ten different houses, and without a doubt every single month he has to evict someone. Fun stuff. My cousins used to go on eviction runs with my uncle and they pulled the coolest stuff from the wreckage.

I missed the Vikings/Eagles game when I was working. Seems like I didn't miss much, though.

I got my tapes from Tom over a week ago and I still haven't got through the first tape. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow.

I've updated twice in a week now. It's astounding.

Speaking of updating, KR, send me a link for your xanga.

Unless you just hate me.

Even then, give me the link. I'll be nice and put up a new link.

I've determined that I'm probably not going to take down any old links for a day or two, so if you see something on my list that hasn't been updated in more than two months, say your goodbyes now.

I bid you a-dooby dooby doo.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

frito bandito

I got my masks in yesterday, while I was sleeping off a nasty stomachache. Super Calo and Lizmark. Go Googling for pics. I'm too lazy.

For my Star Student pic in the Yearbook, Perry is wearing the Lizmark and I'm wearing the Super Calo, so my hair sticks out. Took a little bit of adjustment, as the Calo mask is clearly not meant for the head of an American of hearty Anglo stock.

Luckily, I don't think I missed much yesterday at the old prison yard. If I actually did, somebody tell me. JS, RA, get on it.

Tallying up birthday money, I got roughly a hundred dollars, thirty of it from my paternal grands, fifty from my godmother, and ten each from two sets of aunts and uncles. Plus some stuff I ordered myself off of Amazon, a Rush bootleg (5/17/94 Toronto) from JS, and the aforementioned masks.

All of you who didn't get me anything, you just made the list. When I am ruler of the Multiverse, you will be forced to use the non-EZPass lane on toll roads. Should've got me something.

My dashboard Jesus will arrive shortly. Thanks to Frisco Robby D.

Message Board? What message board? That one on the sidebar, the first link? No, no one ever goes to it. Why do you ask?

I slept till noon yesterday, then played Madden 04 for most of the day. I threw out any standard playbook, and instead run six different completely new formations, with such names as Spade, Diamond Back, Evolution, Asimov, Heinlein, and Triangle. Some of these you can probably figure out. Others are just weird.

As far as my play style? With my created teams (Las Vegas Lightning, Vancouver Vandals, Anchorage Arachnids, Mexico City Maulers), I do a West Coast style, with no wide receivers. How? Halfbacks and TE's with really good hands. It's mutated, but it works extremely well.

With actual teams, I use a smashmouth style, running up the gut three out of four downs.

Well, that's enough. I will sleep in for the next two days. I woke up at 7:45 this morning since I slept so much yesterday.

MLK Day All The Way!

Friday, January 07, 2005

slicin' up eyeballs

Well, it's been a week. Time for another post on this here internet machine (TM Raven Mack).

I got in a new shipment of IWA:MS. For this, I thank God and my hook-up, Tom in New Hampshire. You're both awesome.

But Tom's prices are lower than God's.

I'm about an hour into "Stylin in the Summertime". I knew it would be a good day when the first match on the first tape was Jimmy Jacobs versus Mark Wolf versus ...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...


Best entrance ever.

So my team is going to the playoffs tomorrow in a one-day tournament to decide the nerdiest nerds in Northeast Georgia. We've got a good chance to win, too. Numbah One Seed!

Having said that, I pick an upset winner, mainly because we're all tired and don't give much of a shit anymore. It's a tiny shit, but it's still a shit.

And, no cash prizes of any kind, and (not to be too materialistic,) we're all poor high school kids who could use a boost in the old wallet.

Kids who play sports reasonably well get scholarships out the ass, while there are very few grants for nonathletic quasi-intelligent white kids who happen to know trivia.

Oh well, at least I've got my letterman's jacket (the only pure academic jacket in the entire school. Cram it, jocks.).

Expect a nonsense music post in the next few days. Fair warning and all that.

I finally got the board started up (EZBoard WOOT~!). Now, I have to attract people to it somehow. I'm thinking porn.

Then again, I'm a normal (four days away from) 18 year old male in the USA. I'm always thinking porn.

I've got a scholarship essay due to MENSA on the 15th, and I haven't started on it yet. Go procrastination.

I'll probably complain in explicit detail about my schedule this semester in a few days, also. I know you can't wait.

Somebody send me some porn on my birthday. It's a rite of passage, and I'll reciprocate on your birthday, if I remember. Real porn. Not internet (too easy to get).

Ciao, bitches.

Sunday, January 02, 2005

gouge away

Sorry, I've been busy. Or, rather, I've been playing Spiderman 2. Either way.

Listened to four albums this week: Pixies, Cure, and both early FoW discs.

The Pixies rock totally and completely. "U-Mass" is the great lost wrestling theme song. "Gouge Away" is an anthem for a generation that looks back on its forefathers for anthems. Everything else is also absolute gold. YOU NEED THIS ALBUM. And the Pixies tour shirt that says "Sellout".

The best Cure song ever is "Friday I'm in Love". There may be no better pure pop song. This ranks below the Pixies in must-have-ness, mainly becasue of the inclusuion of a few clunkers and the needless chronological restrictions inherent in 1987-1997. This results in the loss of "Boys Don't Cry", the official theme for weepy dancing at 3:00 AM alone in your room.

And taking a drag on your cigarette every three seconds.

Speaking of weeping boys, the first two Fountains of Wayne albums are not as good as "welcome Interstate Managers". But then again, no album since "Mellon Collie" is that good, so they're forgiven.

Highlights include "Leave the Biker", "Radiation Vibe", "Prom Theme", "Red Dragon Tattoo", and "It Must be Summer" (an inclusion in the last contest, for my astute readers).

I got the ECW DVD in the same shipment as FoW. It makes me want to slice my forehead open with a razor blade.

But in a good way.

Really, it makes me want to get involved in the business side of wrestling more than ever. If anyone reading this needs a booker for their promotion that is completely inexperienced and will work for transportation alone, hit me up with an e-mail.

Right now, I should be either working on my vacation project or an essay for a scholarship application, but I'm really lazy.

Scratch that, I'm motivated to keep my expansive reader base happy.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

But seriously, my hits have been going slightly down for a little while. Maybe I'm just not that interesting anymore? Or maybe all of you suck for not promoting my shit like you should.

5000 hits gets a prize.

Probably in the vein of whatever I gave Kate.

What was that gift again? Oh yes, herpes.

I kid. I kid.

I'm working (admittedly half-heartedly) on getting a message board up and runnning. Since I don't have a domain name or server space, I'll probably make a shitty EZBoard.

That is, unless a kind person with their own domain name wants to hook me up in exchange for advertising revenue and undying affection? Head, I'm looking at you. Give me 50 MB of space and I'll have at least four figures coming in every month. Hope you like porno.

Although, technically, you'd have to shift ownership of the domain to me since I'm eighteen in ten days, and you won't be for a few months. We have to be all legal and shit.

That's enough rambling to keep the masses happy. And visit the Confederate Mack Message Board in lieu of my upcoming one. Folow the link from "Mack's New Hotness" over there on the links column.

Speaking of which, if anyone wants me to "promote" a site by putting a link on my sidebar, email me and I'll put it up there. I guarantee at least five extra hits a day.


Search Popdex:

Promote your blog for free.