Monday, December 27, 2004

long december

Long time, no see. But at least I have an excuse, unlike others.

Here's the rundown for Xmas Swag:

  • Playstation 2 (only four years late!)

  • Various games:
    • Spiderman 2
    • Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain
    • Pride:FC (best game ever)
    • Def Jam Vendetta
    • Tribes: Aerial Assault
    • Rugby 2004 (Aussie Aussie Aussie!)
    • Tekken Tag Tournament
    • Tekken 4
    • Madden 2004
    • Legends of Wrestling
    • True Crime: Streets of LA (disappointing...)

  • CDs received now
    • The Cure - Galore
    • Pixies - Wave of Mutilation

  • The Ric Flair DVD

  • Stuff coming from Amazon
    • Fountains of Wayne - Fountains of Wayne
    • Fountains of Wayne - Utopia Parkway
    • Rise and Fall of ECW DVD

And that's about it. Some slippers from the 'rents and some money from the grand'rents.

And how was your Christmas?

Never mind. I don't really care.

(I'm kidding.)


My birthday is in fifteen days. I expect lavish gifts from each and every one of my loyal readers. I like shiny expensive things.

I don't know what I want for real, but I'm sure I'll get screwed on the deal, as my extended family (without fail every year) claims money is too tight after Christmas to ever get me anything, if they even remember my birthday at all.

Really, is it too hard to put a tenspot and a cheesy card in an envelope and throw a stamp on it? Or, they could walk here since most of them live right down the street.

Oh well, enough bitching on my part. Did you like your prize, Kate?

I'm thinking of making a simple little message board on here, just to have something to do more than anything. I don't know if there's enough interest to warrant it, though. Usually, projects outside of the main blog fall by the wayside (NFTM, anyone? What about Poetry?).

Most of you I haven't talked with since finals, except Kate. There's this little thing called email, people. Or the phone, if you want to be really extravagant.

Man, I'm starting to sound whinier than Ryan here. I'll stop while I'm ahead.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004


Jet Flying, Limousine Riding, Wheelin', Dealin', Blog Topic Stealing Son of A Gun.

(Bonus points to anyone besides TCF who can spot the ref.)

10 Random Things About Me
1. I have an unnatural affinity for fake fighting in all its forms.
2. I have a huge poster of Black Sabbath over my bed.
3. I watch Conan O'Brin evry day at 7:00 on CNBC
4. I have the complete series of Leisure Suit Larry games (1-7) on my PC
5. I can play nearly every Cure song on multiple instruments
6. I play twelve different instruments, maybe three well
7. I'm one sixteenth Cherokee, fifteen sixteenths straight up honky
8. I'm Asian, but only honorarily
9. I'm straight edge, mostly by coincidence and poverty
10. I eat maybe one meal a day, but thanks to genetics I hover around three bills

9 Places I've visited
1. Myrtle Beach
2. Rock City (TN, not Detroit)
3. Tybee Island
4. Savannah
5. Flowery Branch
6. The bushes outside your windows
7. Winder
8. The Varsity
9. Kate Russell's boudoir

(ed. note: can you tell I don't get out much?)

8 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
1. Marry
2. Breed
3. Book one wrestling show
4. Meet Jim Cornette
5. Meet Paul Heyman
6. Meet Vince McMahon
7. Get absolutely shitfaced drunk
8. Retire early

7 Ways for a Girl To Win My Heart
1. Be funny
2. Be smart, but not quite as smart as I am. Or at least pretend for a while.
3. Like Wrestling
4. Be able to quote Family Guy
5. Be zaftig (my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon)
6. Put up with my family at least as well as I do
7. Tolerate pornography in all its incarnations

6 Things I Believe In
1. A thing called love
2. God
3. The resurrection
4. Truth
5. Justice
6. The American Way

5 Things I'm Afraid Of
1. Bears
2. Bugs
3. Loss
4. Emptiness

4 Favorite Things in My Bedroom
1. Mandolin
2. Wrestling tape collection
3. CD collection
4. The chick I keep tied up in my closet

3 Things I Do Everyday
1. Visit every site linked in my blog
2. Eat
3. Breathe

2 Things I'm Trying not to do right now
1. Misspell
2. Not type

Person You Want to See Right Now
1. My Cousin, who's about to ship out to the Middle East

And that's it. Anyone else want to take a stab at the contest? It's thisclose to being over, as KR is twelve thirteenths to the solution.

If you can defeat her in time, she loses the prize. It's on like neckbone!

Friday, December 17, 2004

refining the rules

Use Google all you want for the contest. I'm dead serious in having someone win, preferably before Christmas.

Here's a hint on the hardest one: Paulelujah.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

same day, second verse

Another song day.

The twist? No titles. No artists. A correct guess of all titles and artists ends up in a reward. You must also discover the secret theme to win the secret prize.

No Google. It's hard enough to make up this list with Google, so good luck.

My choice of prize. Expect carnage and violence.

Or maybe nude pictures of people I know and go to school with.

Anyway, on with the show...

Song 1

I used to travel in the shadows
And I never found the nerve to try and walk up to you
But now I am a man and I know that there's no time to waste
There's too much to lose
Girl you say anything at all, and you know that you can call
And I'll be right there for you
First love, heartbreak, tough luck, big mistake
What else can you do

I'll say anything you want to hear
I'll see everything through
I'll do anything I have to do
Just to win the love of a girl like you, a girl like you

People talk and people stare, tell them I don't really care
This is the place I should be
And if they think it's really strange for a girl like you
To be in love with someone like me
I wanna tell them all to go to hell
That we're doing very well without them you see
That's just the way it is and they will see
I am yours and you are mine the way it should be

I'll say anything you want to hear
I'll see everything through
I'll do anything I have to do
Just to win the love of a girl like you, a girl like you

Now if I seem a little wild, there's no holding back
I'm trying to get a message to you
I won't take anything from anyone
I won't walk and I won't run, I believe in you
London, Washington, anywhere you are I'll run
Together we'll be
Inside, outside, got my pride
I won't let him take you from me

I'll say anything you want to hear
I'll see everything through
I'll do anything I have to do
Just to win the love of a girl like you, a girl like you

Song 2

I hold you in my arms
as the band plays
What are those words whispered baby
just as you turn away
I saw you last night
out on the edge of town
I wanna read your mind
To know just what I've got in this new thing I've found
So tell me what I see
when I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
or just a brilliant disguise

I heard somebody call your name
from underneath our willow
I saw something tucked in shame
underneath your pillow
Well I've tried so hard baby
but I just can't see
What a woman like you
is doing with me
So tell me who I see
when I look in your eyes
Is that you baby
or just a brilliant disguise

Now look at me baby
struggling to do everything right
And then it all falls apart
when out go the lights
I'm just a lonely pilgrim
I walk this world in wealth
I want to know if it's you I don't trust
'cause I damn sure don't trust myself

Now you play the loving woman
I'll play the faithful man
But just don't look too close
into the palm of my hand
We stood at the altar
the gypsy swore our future was right
But come the wee wee hours
Well maybe baby the gypsy lied
So when you look at me
you better look hard and look twice
Is that me baby
or just a brilliant disguise

Tonight our bed is cold
I'm lost in the darkness of our love
God have mercy on the man
Who doubts what he's sure of

Song 3

There's no time to kill between the cradle and the grave
Father Time still takes a toll on every minute that you save
Legal tender's never gonna change the number on your days
The highest cost of livin's dyin', that's one everybody pays
So have it spent before you get the bill, there's no time to kill
If we'd known ten years ago today would be ten years from now
Would we spend tomorrow's yesterdays and make it last somehow
Or lead the cheers in someone else's game and never learn to play
And see the rules of thumb are all the same that measure every day
The grass is green on both sides of the hill, there's no time to kill
No time to kill, even I've said it and probably always will
But I can look ahead and see that time ain't standin' still
No time to kill but time to change the kind of hurry I've been in
And quit this work and worry lookin' back at where I've been
If you don't look ahead nobody will, there's no time to kill
If we had an hour glass to watch each one go by
Or a bell to mark each one to pass, we'd see just how they fly
Would we escalate the value to be worth its weight in gold
Or would we never know the fortunes that we had 'til we grow old
And do we just keep killin' time until there's no time to kill

Song 4

You're leaving me here, dear
Alone with all your letters
You're letting it go, no
Like innocence and feathers
You're putting it down
Sounds slipping into songs
You're leaving me here, dear
Alone with all my wrongs
You're pulling away
Pray you're making the right choice
You're pulling away
Stay and listen to my voice
To my voice

Sooner or later you will long
When you wake you will see
Sooner or later all the songs
That make you shake will be by me
Sooner or later all the throngs of feelings
We used to appreciate will come rushing back

You're thinking about
How you thought you knew me better
You're looking around town
And wondering how I met her
You're pulling away
Pray you're making the right choice
You're pulling away
Stay and listen to my voice
To my voice

Sooner or later all the throngs or feelings
We used to appreciate will come rushing back
When you wake you will see

Don't wake me as you leave
Don't make me believe I have a chance in hell
Don't tell me what I know too well
Don't wake me

As you're leaving me here dear
Alone with all your letters
Don't let it go of your innocence and feathers
Now I find that every sound reminds me of our song
Since you left me here dear
Alone with all my wrongs
With my wrongs

Song 5

It must be summer
Cause the days are long
And I dial your number
But you're gone, gone, gone
I'd set out searching
But the car won't start
And it must be summer
Cause I'm falling apart

I try your sister
On the jersey shore
She said you might be stopping by
But she's not sure
So I call your mother
On long island sound
She said it must be summer
Cause you're never around

And the sun is beating me senseless
I feel defenseless like a dying lamb
I don't want to lie by the oceanside
Don't want to play in the sand
Can't you understand?
Can't you understand?

It must be summer
Cause the streets are bare
And I try your number
But you're just not there
And the sun keeps shining
Til it's dead and gone
And it must be summer
Cause I can't go on

And the sun is beating me senseless
I feel defenseless like a dying lamb
I don't wan't to lie by the oceanside
Don't want to play in the sand
Can't you understand?
Can't you understand?


Song 6

It's the last days, Jocks think pussies are ash trays
And artsy-farts have more baggage than Samsonite
Those ancient Hamptonites, they're always like, "I can't tonight"
And men who are too beautiful are too dutiful with their cuticles
Plus it's like conversasion with a carpeted cubicle
I was eating food when a dude pseudo-suitable said,
"My rap talk's the back drop from laptop to blacktop
You certainly appear to be mightily stacked up
My iconoclastic rap schtick, gets my jimmy waxed like Chapstick
I think LL Cool J and Canibus are BOTH fantastic
So-called experts can't see how the text works
So they comb through the textures of italicized excerpts"
Believe me, it sucks acting impressed
Plus the whole time he rhymed he stared at my breasts
At best he was neither ugly nor dumb
I guessed I'd rearrange the boredom
And make it into bedroom, I said, "Let's go Max like Headroom"
We brought the ruckus like Red Grooms
On the couch where we made out with my hand on his paunch
He invited me to march in the Million Sperm Launch
The fun talk stopped when we heard the front door unlock
His dad made such a grand entrance,
dude, you'd think we'd need sunblock
At long last he walked past and let out a calm blast of bombast
Before he could set down he briefcase, I said, "You're a quief-face
Go back to Boston"

When I want some, I get some
I'll wade through the flotsam and jetsam
Til I've met some smart hotties and caught 'em
My parents named me Autumn
But now I'm fricking awesome

Next I took the Express to 86th and Lex
Flexed my Metrocard back in my wallet and
Walked to the Metropolitan, The Great Hall
Had hundreds of boys straight out of "Eightball", wait, Paul
Barman was posted at his station
He said, "For students there's a $5 suggested donation"
Our eyes met
It's nice to be hypnotized by a man you don't despise yet
He had a type of flow and I can't quite label it
All I know it made me want to take off my cableknit
Sweater, Oh he better be hetero
I hope they don't catch us in the Lila Acheson
Wallace Wing when Paulus brings the mattress in--rudely
He backlashed my booty
like I was Susan Faludi over the Grace Rainey Rogers Room rostrum

When I want some, I get some
If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam
I'll draw some
L'acoste alligators chasing an opossum.....
But now- I'm frigging awesome
When I want some, I get some
If I'm lost in the flotsam and jetsam
I'll draw some
L'acoste alligators chasing an opossum.....
I'm frigging awesome

"What is a matter with that man?"
"What is a matter with that man?"

THE END. Enjoy the maddening search!

Saturday, December 11, 2004

king of wishful thinking

How is everybody?

Please, don't answer, it's just a saying. I really don't care, except for a select few of you.

Are you one of the few?

Well, you'll just have to stay awake all night wondering. Enjoy!

I'm in like Flynn in my college of choice. Gainesville College, here I come. The joys of a cheap education await me. Yes, I could go to somewhere better with my stats (770 Verbal, 680 Math, 3.875 unweighted GPA), but it's a matter of money and motivation. I can't afford, nor do I want to go somewhere more high class. A full HOPE scholarship, plus a few scholarships and grants, means I can make money by going to school. And that's why I want to go to Gainesville.

Political rant coming up:

A word on gay marriage. It's freaking hard enough to find ANYONE that will put up with your ass for any length of time. If you can find someone that loves you as much as you love them, go for it. I don't care if you're both guys, both girls, or a matched pair; as long as you're both of age, just go for it. I'm not gay myself (I just don't find men all that attractive), but I wholeheartedly support gay marriage as currently defined, simply because I believe that NO marriage should be recognized as "legal". Marriage is not a legal issue, it is a spiritual issue. Marriage exists solely in the eyes of God, not in the law.

End rant.

I've got a ninja project, due Wednesday. Anyone know Macbeth and want to write a newspaper about it? Didn't think so.

A word to the wise: if you're gonna look at a porno mag with a kid in order to entice them to do icky things with you, get rid of the jerk book afterwards. C'mon, Jacko, it's not that hard.

Whoops. Bad pun.

I'm now free and clear in the tape category, as all of my orders have been sent out. Thanks to everyone that placed an order. Now if everyone would just get more tapes from me, the world would be a happier place.

CubsFan, I'm looking at you. You know you want some wrestling goodness from me. I'll cut you a deal, since you did give me advertisement for free. Let me know if you're interested, and I'll send you a list of what I got.

Anyone else at DVDVR who reads this, mention you're from Rasmussenland, and you get some sort of discount off of my already insanely low prices.

For some reason, I'm really tired. I haven't done anything of merit for the past three or four days, so I don't know what it is. Probably my old immune-deficiency acting up.

I've only got to make it five calendar days and four actual days until I'm off for close to three weeks for "Winter Holidays". Makes no sense to call it that, as there might be a whole five Jewish families in the whole of the school system.

Plus the fact that Chanukah ends before we actually get out of school.

In addition to the fact that Chanukah is actually a rather minor holiday on the Jewish calendar.

Passover is much cooler. Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah, too.

Technically, Christians should celebrate Passover, but try telling a hardline Baptist that, and see if you come back without bodily harm.

Enough blog. I've pissed enough people off this week.

New start tomorrow, right?

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

to be the man

You have to beat the man.

Let's see, what's in the news today...

Oh, wait, I just remembered that I don't really care about the world around me. Nevermind.

I'm sitting here at the computer, which thankfully faces away from the television.

Why, the faithful reader asks, is our fearless protagonist facing away from the wonderfulinvention of TV, that bringer of joy and monotony?

The answer is this, o loyal reader: Clay Aiken.

That's right, the bane of the American audiophile, Clay Aiken. It's not that he can't sing; he actually has a good voice. It's the pap that his producers try to pass off as music that truly bothers me.

An example: "If I was invisible, I would watch you in your room".

That would be the chorus hook from Aiken's number one hit, "Invisible".

Not only is is vaguely creepy, but it's also poorly produced. The arrangement smacks of the trashcan of some obscure Swedish pop mogul, as if the song was originally intended for that long-lost Brian Litrell album. (He was the second one from the left of the Backstreet Boys, for those of you keeping score. Can't tell the guy with dreads from N'sync apart from the guy with dreads from O-Town without a program.)

Anyways, that little rant proved that I am entirely too familiar with late-90's boy bands.

Let's forget that whole thing happened.

I have a shitload (metric measure) of orders to go out. I've got about five tapes to go out, not to mention the four tapes I got in return that I need to watch. Darn my wrestling addiction. Now if I could only convince people to send me free tapes.

I got accepted into my backup college today, the good old University of West Georgia. Big whoop. I'm not gonna go there unless I absolutely have to, mainly because I don't want to move to the other side of Atlanta. That would entail paying rent, which would entail getting a job, which would mean I would actually have to get up and do something with my life.

That doesn't fit in with my "five-year plan", to steal a phrase from the Maoists.

Then again, the Maoists' five year plans never worked either. At least, they never worked without a massive outbreak of starvation.

I have got almost no work to do for the next week, barring any ninja projects (ones that sneak up on you silently and attack quickly and viciously).

My project in WebPage is done as of today, it's just got to be uploaded to the school's server. It's an animation of a car on a road, and it's a bitch to do. My teacher said to me sometime last week, "I'd really like you to pull my fat out of the fire, so if you could, join the Future Business Leaders of America, design the webpage for the state competition, and generally be a hired gun in the world of Web Page Design. If you do this, you can work on it in class, (ed. note: here's the clincher) and you're exempt from all of the work the regular class does." So I spent a few days laying out the opening montage using Movie Maker (hey, it's a school, I'd rather use non-Microsoft programs, but you know how it is), Paint (bane of my existance, especially when using a touchpad on a laptop), and Photoshop (finally, a program that's useful!). I sketched out a background in Paint, then drew out each animation cel to lay over it. Then, in Photoshop, I moved the cel (a car, for those who are still reading) a few pixels for each frame, saved it, moved the cel a few pixels, saved it as the next frame, and etcetera. This went on for about two periods worth of work.

Then, I threw it all in Movie Maker (because I dont; know Flash very well, that is to say, at all). A day later, *poof*, out pops an animation worthy of Disney's approval. Or at least it's good enough to keep the teacher off my back while I try to trade for tapes online.

Calc test on Monday, it's over the same stuff I learned in Physics, so it should be failry easy. Except for the fact that I forgot how to do Physics before Physics was over, and as a consequence nearly failed the final. Oh well, I've got an 89 in there, so I've got nine points of failure cushion. And I plan to use them. Go team!

The less said about Digital Media, the better. Let's just say I'm determined to do as little work as possible and still come out of there with an A.

AP Lit is boring as always. We're plodding through Macbeth, and I'm one of a paltry few who get the jokes, as usual. I always get stuck with one of two parts: the one where you say a lot of lines that don't mean a thing in the context of the play, and the ones where you say three lines that change the entire plot. I can breeze through the first parts (but I actually have to pay attention), and I inevitably stumble over the three lines (but I can sleep through most of the reading and have someone poke me when it's my turn).

A word to the elephant in the room: If I was you and you were me, I would have punched me in the face yesterday. Or at least a good kidney punch. You get a free shot if you want it. Things got out of hand, and a joke went way too far. I'm sorry that I'm an asshole, especially in this instance.

With that out of the way, it's arrivederci. Or however it's spelled.

Damn, I wrote a freaking book today.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

despite all my rage

Yo, what up?

I worked my ass off Friday nightand all of yesterday, for a good thirteen hours of community service. Stupid service based organizations and their service requirements.

Lugging Christmas trees all day is enough to make one seriously consider agnosticism as a lifestyle choice.

I could barely move when I got up today, circa 11:00 AM.

Icy Hot, the poor man's BenGay, was applied vigorously.

For those of you who haven't seen me in person, my body is not exactly designed for the rigors of manual labor. I'm more of a "big picture" physique. It's an "idea" body.

JS and others with broadband might enjoy this more, but here is a contest from a radio station in London, where the contestants are all high school kids (or younger) playing covers of rock songs. I haven't listened to them yet (dialup = grrr), but my favorite is the eight year old tackling "Sunshine of Your Love".

Prayers go out to the family of Esperitu de la Muerte, a Mexican wrestler who died in a tragic accident on the 27th. He went for a flip from the inside of the ring to the floor, and caught his foot on the rope. He died instantly when his head split open on impact. There are two horrible parts to this: his father was the referee in the match, and his opponent (who was supposed to be in position to catch him) was his brother.

I will probably do more song lyric posts in the future, as I got some positive feedback, and it also semi-rips off one of the guys on DVDVR whose blog I like, La Parka Owns You. I was first, though.

Other blogs you might like include Mike Dikk, who never updates, and Mike Sweetser, resident Transformers nerd of DVDVR.

Yes, those Transformers.

He even liked Beast Wars.

He also has a massive porn collection, adding evidence to the theory that all geeks have intense sex drives.

To quote Revenge of the Nerds, "Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex."

Enough blog. Go listen to the Undertones, you miscreants.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

song day

No particular reason, other than the fact that I don't want to write about anything else.

"I Can't Get Next To You" by the Temptations

Can turn a gray sky blue.
I can make it rain, whenever I wanted to.
Oh, I
I can build a castle from a single grain of sand.
I can make a ship sail, uh, on dry land.

But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue. 'Cause I can't get next to you.

I can't get next to you, babe. (Next to you)
I can't get next to you. (I just can't get next you)
I can't get next to you, babe.
I can't get next to you.

Can fly like a bird in the sky.
Hey, and I can buy anything that money can buy.
Oh, I
I can turn a river into a raging fire.
I can live forever if I so desired.

Unimportant are all the things I can do. 'Cause I can't get next to you.

I can't get next to you, babe. (No matter what I do)
I can't get next to you.

Chica boom, chica boom
Chica boom, boom, boom

I can turn back the hands of time, you better believe I can.
I can make the seasons change, just by waving my hand.
Oh, I
I can change anything from old to new.
The things I want to do the most, I'm unable to do.

Unhappy am I with all the powers I possess.
'Cause girl you're the key to my happiness.
And I

Can't get next to you.

Girl, you're blowing my mind 'cause I can't get... (Next to you)
Can't you see these tears I'm crying? I can't get... (Next to you)
Girl, it's you that I need. I gotta get... (Next to you)
Can't you see these tears I'm crying? I can't get... (Next to you)
I, I, I, I... I can't get... (Next to you)
I, I, I, I... I can't get... (Next to you)
Girl, you're blowing my mind...


"Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen

This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love

This thing (this thing) called love (called love)
It cries (like a baby)
In a cradle all night
It swings (woo woo)
It jives (woo woo)
It shakes all over like a jelly fish
I kinda like it
Crazy little thing called love

There goes my baby
She knows how to Rock'n'Roll
She drives my crazy
She gives me hot and cold fever
Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat

I gotta be cool relax get hip!
Get on my track's
Take a back seat
Hitch hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready
Crazy little thing called love

I gotta be cool relax get hip!
Get on my track's
Take a back seat
Hitch hike
And take a long ride on my motor bike
Until I'm ready (ready Freddie)
Crazy little thing called love

This thing called love I just can't handle it
This thing called love I must get round to it
I ain't ready
Crazy little thing called love...


"In The Car" by Barenaked Ladies

She fed me strawberries and
freezer-burned ice cream
I said "Goodbye, I guess"
She lifted up her dress
and so I must confess,
we made out one more time
before I left for good
She thought I'd come back but I
wouldn't want to seem like other guys

A book-and-record love,
we sat and read our books,
between those longing looks,
compounded by our fear,
My tongue inside her ear,
my tongue inside her
in the basement of her mother's
house where she once taped the
first three sides of Sandinista for my car.

We were looking for ourselves
and found each other
In the car
it was rare to do much more
than simply mess around
In the car
It was mostly mutual masturbation
And though we spoke of penetration
I'd have to wait for someone else to try it out

Once I had this dream
where I slept with her mom
A secret all along, unless I've got this wrong
Unless she hears this song
unless she hears it
on a tape inside her car
with her new husband and she
turns to him and says "I think that's me"

In the car
We were looking for ourselves
but found each other
In the car
We groped for excuses
not to be alone anymore
In the car
We were waiting for our lives
to start their endings
In the car
We were never making love
We were never making love
We were never making love


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