Thursday, October 28, 2004

love is all you need

The following bands are good, by my royal decree:

The Beatles
The Kinks
Fountains of Wayne
Cheap Trick
Talking Heads
The Pixies
Frank Zappa and the Mothers
Barenaked Ladies
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
The Beastie Boys
Led Zeppelin

The following bands suck, by my royal decree. Reasons for sucking are available on request.

The Rolling Stones
The Avalanches
Bob Dylan (post 1966)
American Popular
Backstreet Boys

More to come. Suggestions are welcomed, but will probably be ridiculed.

Enjoy, b!tches!

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

firefox delights

I changed the font size back.

I'd never done the basic rule of HTML layout and checked the site in different browsers. Mozilla made mine look miniscule. IE rendered it fine, but Firefox was almost unreadable. Ergo, I made an attempt to go with the flow and update the template. Are you happy, Firefoxers?

And yes, I know I'm giving in to the enemy by using IE. I'm such a creature of habit.

Thank God I didn't start using the web in 1994, or else I'd still proably be using Mosaic and complaining about the newfangled JPEGs and how no one uses ALT tags anymore.

take a bite out of crime

Scruff McGruff
Chicago, Illinois

My Academic team won last night, 510-260.

This is what you'd call a "sound thrashing".

NFTM is going along swimmingly, as we now have three members, with two more on the way. Hopefully, it'll be updated at least once a day, especially if we can get a nice round total of seven writers.

TheCubsFan is your god. Worship him as such. They're going all the way next year, believe it!

I figure I'm about three months away from becoming an internet superstar, and four months away from becoming a clue in an obscure trivia contest. Lofty aspirations, I know, but at least we'll always have Paris.

I am currently working on beating the original "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego". I'm up to sleuth. I haven't played that game since 1994, and I'm still kicking ass right and left. Go me.

Big ups to Scott Christ for some corrections. Keep the IWA:MS reviews coming, Scott.

I guess I'm done for now. Fire drill, and all that.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

a lyric, a time, a crusade, a line

Sitting here with nothing to do. Boredom, set me free.

Got all the old Leisure Suit Larry games. Hopefully I'll be able to get the newest one soon.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to get a PS2. GTA:SA is supposedly completely PS2 exclusive, with no PC port coming. This sucks, so I may have to break down and make a purchase.

Usually, if there's a game I want, I just wait for the PC port, as my rig is pretty good, but with the way the developers take their sweet time, it's becoming not worth it.

Anybody want to sell me a cheap (sub $50) PS2? I'll pay you in tapes.

Or money. Whatever works.

I have little idea what games I would get besides GTA:SA, but probably all the wrasslin' games and definitely the new Nascar: Chase for the Cup deal.

Oh yeah, I forgot for the past few posts to put in some random words to pick up search engines, so here goes:

Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Dr. Vegas, Webster, Charles in Charge, Joanie Loves Chachi, bukkake, Happy Days, Scott Baio, analingus, Luke Perry, Matt Dillon, Chesty McBoobitage, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, sensual massage, Jennifer Garner, full release massage, Harry and the Hendersons, Roseanne Barr-Arnold, James Garner, Busty LaRue, Killing Joke, The Misfits, Napalm Death, Danni Ashe, Cannibal Corpse, The Bee Gees, The Circle Jerks, Jenna Jameson, Team America: World Police.

So there. That ought to screw some people up.

I wish I had more wrestling to watch, but I don't have much luck finding people who have what I want at a price I can deal with, whether it be money or tapes.

I should probably work on my autobiography project now, but whatever. I'll do it later.

Put up three new stories over the weekend. Not bad for a brand new news outlet. I also submitted the site to a bunch of search engines.

The next-to-ultimate goal is to get a cease and desist letter from a celebrity who finds an article about them.

The ultimate goal is to get picked up by a major news outlet, like ABCNews or CNN, and have them report our story.

Really, it's just a way to work on our writing and journalism skills, plus a way to get some cheap laughs at other people's expense. Isn't that what makes America great?

Enough blog. Must play Leisure Suit Larry 2: Looking for Love in Several Wrong Places.

Friday, October 22, 2004

sippin' on gin and juice

...laid back.

What up, homies? Ya'll been a'ight?

Er, what?

Sorry, I had a moment there where I thought I had street cred. Forgive me.

See the world through my eyes atNews For The Masses. It's me, RADkins, and FMJ.

We report, we decide, motherfucker.

Submitted two new stories, working on the research for another: Terrorist Announce New Fall Lineup.

I am in dire need of new wrestling, as I have officially watched everything I care about.

I'm almost to the point where I'm watching my "History of the Blue World Order" comp.

Give me money, or stuff, or something. Email me for my home address and send me shit. Send me something, I send you something. Bonus Points if you live outside of the US.

I'm stuck working tomorrow at the Chataquauquaqawhateverthefuckitsnameis festival. I'll have to help run the petting zoo.

Joey, stay away from the zoo. These goats have their innocence intact and I intend to keep it that way.

Enough blog. Must work on new story: Viagra for Kids.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

tom petty is yo daddy!

Today is the most holiest of days, as it is both the birthday of Tom Petty and the birthday of one Calvin Broadus, AKA Snoop Dogg.

In honor of such a great day, here are some songs you should listen to, even if you have to be strapped down to a chair.

performed by Tom Petty
written by Beck

Your brains went black
When she took back her love
And put it out into the sun

The birds did fly
When the heavens all went dry
And the cigarettes were smoking by themselves

She'll do anything
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
To make you feel like an asshole

Call her name
She looks the same as you
With question-marks stretched across her skin

She dangles carrots
Makes you feel embarrassed
To be the fool you know you are

She'll do anything
She'll do anything
She'll do anything
To make you feel like an asshole

You Don't Know How It Feels by Tom Petty

Let me run with you tonight
I'll take you on a moonlight ride
There's someone I used to see
But she don't give a damn for me

But let me get to the point, let's roll another joint
And turn the radio loud, I'm too alone to be proud
You don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

People come, people go
Some grow young, some grow cold
I woke up in between
A memory and a dream

So let's get to the point, let's roll another joint
Let's head on down the road
There's somewhere I gotta go
And you don't know how it feels
You don't know how it feels to be me

My old man was born to rock
He's still tryin' to beat the clock
Think of me what you will
I got a little space to fill

So let's get to the point, let's roll another joint
Let's head on down the road
There's somewhere I gotta go
And you don't know how it feels
No, you don't know how it feels to be me

Gin and Juice by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre

Heah hah hah!
I'm serious nigga one of y'all niggaz got this ass motherfuckin up
Aiy baby, aiy baby... aiy baby get some bubblegum in this motherfucker
Steady long, steady long nigga

With so much drama in the L-B-C
It's kinda hard bein Snoop D-O-double-G
But I, somehow, some way
Keep comin up with funky ass shit like every single day
May I, kick a little something for the G's (yeah)
and, make a few ends as (yeah!) I breeze, through
Two in the mornin and the party's still jumpin
cause my momma ain't home
I got bitches in the living room gettin it on
and, they ain't leavin til six in the mornin (six in the mornin)
So what you wanna do, sheeeit
I got a pocket full of rubbers and my homeboys do too
So turn off the lights and close the doors
But (but what) we don't love them hoes, yeah!
So we gonna smoke a ounce to this
G's up, hoes down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

Now, that, I got me some Seagram's gin
Everybody got they cups, but they ain't chipped in
Now this types of shit, happens all the time
You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine
Everything is fine when you listenin to the D-O-G
I got the cultivating music that be captivating he
who listens, to the words that I speak
As I take me a drink to the middle of the street
and get to mackin to this bitch named Sadie (Sadie?)
She used to be the homeboy's lady (Oh, that bitch)
Eighty degrees, when I tell that bitch please
Raise up off these N-U-T's, cause you gets none of these
At ease, as I mob with the Dogg Pound, feel the breeze
beeeitch, I'm just

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice
Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

Later on that day
My homey Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray
And a fat ass J, of some bubonic chronic that made me choke
Shit, this ain't no joke
I had to back up off of it and sit my cup down
Tanqueray and chronic, yeah I'm fucked up now
But it ain't no stoppin, I'm still poppin
Dre got some bitches from the city of Compton
To serve me, not with a cherry on top
Cause when I bust my nut, I'm raisin up off the cot
Don't get upset girl, that's just how it goes
I don't love you hoes, I'm out the do'
And I'll be

Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice (beeotch!!)
Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]
Rollin down the street, smokin indo, sippin on gin and juice (beeotch!!)
Laid back [with my mind on my money and my money on my mind]

Snoop's Upside Your Head by Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre

I think it's bout' time that we hit these niggas upside
the head with some of that west coast
gangsta' sh......... Ooh.....Wee!!!!!!!!!!

It's a whole 'nother day
I'm back up in ya'
Snoop D-O-Double G
I representa'
Been away for a while but you all know
I'm still doggystylin' on Death Row
Got shit locked down
Sewed up
So If you plan on comin' out nigga hold up.
This a stick up
dick up
They got yo' shit on the shelf, oh mine is too
and guess who they gon' pick up?
Some niggas think they know they shit
But they don't
Some M-A's escape
Some won't
Bumpin' heads with niggas
Where you from?
East Side Long Beach, nigga, 2-1
The homie just got paroled
And he got more stories than the highway patrol
Tellin' me about the money Suge Knight stole
But I'll make that shit late
Cause nigga I get swole
Niggas tryin' to get in, to get out.
Put me up on game tellin' me who gon' jack me
But ever since
I was a puppy
till I was paroled
I never had no other dog pullin' on my chrome.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Niggas in the game be doin' way too much
Akin' tough with this east-west coast stuff.
See Me
I'm all about my money mane
I stay fly and dry
I don't get caught up in the rain
Cuz game recognize game
No matter where you from
We all can get dumb, insane and
turn the party out
without a doubt
you them niggas who ain't got no clout
LBC and B what?
Uh, my crew
Cuz uh, we out there smokin' on the krazy glue
Upside yo' head like oops
The shit, that you hear them bumpin' in the hoops.
Can't afford it
This is finished
I represented
From V-A to Venice
So when it's timid
And cold outside
Rely on the Doggy Dogg
To put the heat in yo' life

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

It takes a whole lot
to be number one
I can't walk down the street
without my gun
I can't trust these niggas fool
It ain't no fun
I'm sittin' up in court
Cuz somebody got dumped
What really counts is how the crowd bounce
Go home and say
Snoop rocked the parte`
Nobody got kilt
It's what got annouced
I guess they got a chance to see Dr. Bombay
But I keep my heat in case niggas get cold
Warm you up with the sheet
Zip you up and roll
Now Doggystyle records is now official
Gettin' money at the Pliz-ate with my initials
Shippin' weapons overseas
I'm makin' G's
What who you make call enemies
But I
See nothing funny about
makin' money
Cuz uh
We all know it don't grow on trees
So I
Gotta' get what I gotta' get when I can
Up early in the mo'ning wit' the Gap Band
Burning rubber down to get a new car
So don't get jealous when you see me in the
double R.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Say Snoop's upside yo' head,
say Snoop's upside yo' head.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

sleeping on a planter at the port authority

...waiting for my bus to come.

Everybody's breaking up, so I probably should have put as the title "breaking up is hard to do", but I would've felt like a tool.

I will, unfortunately, miss tonight's show due to scheduling conflicts, plus the fact that I need sleep and rest and all that good stuff. If it was in Statham, I would attend, but I don't want to have to go all the way to Auburn (a good thirty to forty minutes one way, doing the speed limit).

I finished my Sophocles paper, but I don't exactly feel good about it. I completely forgot to cite in the paper, but I did put down seven sources (four was the target).

Knowing the teacher, I'll probably get a 95 on it no matter what I do. I could probably turn in a torn piece of cardboard with "ESSAY" written on it in magic marker and still get at least a 90 on it.

Here comes the dreaded BLOGGERS BLOCK O'DOOM!

I feel sick today, in addition to being dog-tired. I've probably got some weird varaition of Ebola or something. Maybe it's Dengue Fever instead. I don't know.

Enough blog. Kisses!

Saturday, October 16, 2004

on your feet or on your knees!

I have to write a two-page paper on Sophocles and his influences, his position among the major Greek tragedians (is that even a word?), and his effect on modern theatre.

And I don't want to do it.

I spent all morning barbecueing chickens and assembling plates of such. My hands smell like pickles, my hair smells like charcoal, and my legs hurt from standing up for four straight hours. Pity me.

I have a new loyal reader, Queenie from Ontario.

She seems nice, unlike the rest of you scumbags :).

I have been derelict in my wrestling-watching, as I've had too much to do. The last thing I watched was the IWA:MS Sweet Science 2001, and its not really what you would call "good". More like passable.

The last good thing I watched was Starrcade '86. Tully Blanchard versus Dusty Rhodes in a first blood match, with J.J. Dillon cheating like made for his Horseman charge. Quality.

Wrestling this Tuesday in Auburn, at the Auburn Elementary Gym. 6:00 p.m., free autographs. You'll get to see your favorite internet superstar, moi, in attendance.

My autograph's not free, though. $5 a pop, polaroids extra. And no, I won't wear the mask.

I added a story generator at the bottom of my Poetry blog. It's groovy, keen, neato, and all that mess.

I would also like to announce my candidacy for President of the United States of America.

In 2024.

I'm running on the Freak Power platform, and if elected, will rename Washington, D.C. "Fat City".

Guess the reference! Here's your clue: FunkmasterJ, I want to be your Paul Semonin.

Enough blog. Must pretend to work on Sophocles paper.

Friday, October 15, 2004

new banner fo' the Winder Alliance

Here is the idea for a new banner. Head will probably rip me a new one for not doing it in GIMP (GNU Image Manipulation Program, not a Pulp Fiction reference, freaks).

Discuss, flame, whatever.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

poetry has its place

I created a new blog for myself, called "Poetry of a Suplex Master".

Blame Clint.

P.S., Don't take this seriously. I sure didn't.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I wish I was in Oklahoma

Here is all you need to know.

You know what I'm thinking, JS?


Screw Louisiana, let's go to OK and see some up-close-and-personal Vivid Video action.

So, how are you? Fine? Good.

The creeping onset of writer's block has hit me with full force, so this is probably it for the day. Everybody update, as I'm more in a reading mood than a writing mood.

You know what we need? A common banner we can all run on our pages as members of the Winder Alliance or something like that. I'll make one up this afternoon if I get around to it. I'll even do the coding for those who are HTML-illiterate (I'm looking at you, JS).

I thought about adding some JavaScript to the blog template, but it would more than likely just be too annoying for words.

So I'll do it. :)

I added a refresh button down at the Spiderman strip so you can easily see all he strips. I think there's about twenty.

Enjoy, b!tches!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

it's been awhile, but...

Here is your picture of the day.

More holes than O.J.'s alibi. ZING! Fear my rapier wit.

Jim and FunkmasterJ both have new blogs, as I set them up.

Look for Funky's blog to never be updated, ever.

Jim might update, if he can remember he has a blog.

Rhino is the absolute king of "thinking he's going to do well, but gets slammed in the @$$ by fate" as far as tests go. Hey, I made a 92. Then again, I'm really good at Lit, so my score should be thrown out in the interests of fairness.

Nobody updates any more. I slave and slave, and half the people on my links list don't even bother. Screw all y'all.


(that was thrown in just to freak out the search engine people)

ENough blog, must revise minimalist poetry. Maybe a heimlich (haiku + limerick) or two will do.

Monday, October 11, 2004

trying a new template

I need some help cleaning this up. I'll probably get Head to help me tommorrow if I haven't got it figured out by then.


edit: For some reason, it's exactly like I want it now.

I'm going to back away slowly and wait for Head to tell me my design blows.


Saturday, October 09, 2004

tapes done!

Rhino, JS, your tapes are done.

For Rhino: Five hours of carnage and mayhem, where in every single match, someone is PERMANENTLY INJURED! Look on as people break legs, snap arms, and even collapse sternums!

For JS: Four hours and forty-seven minutes of absolute brutality in the IWA: MS King of the DeathMatch 2004 tournament! See people hit over the head with fluorescent light tubes, wrapped in barbed wire, and even SET ON FIRE!

Enjoy, both of you. Hopefuly I'll scar at least one of you for life.

Friday, October 08, 2004

placating joey

WOOT~! 25 posts. Go me, it's your birfday...

Here's the question of the day: If you were a wrestler, what would your theme music be, and as an addendum, what character would you play?

For me, it's either the chickensh!t heel manager a la Jim Cornette (with Rhino, JS, and Pitts as my posse), with the ridiculous theme music of "Bad Boy 4 Life" by P.Diddy,


a "no gimmicks needed" kind of thing where I just beat the tar out of people if they offend me, with Frank Zappa's "Apostrophe" as the music.

I have ideas for all of you that regularly read, and they're pretty funny.

No pic today, as I'm too lazy to look on Google for weird stuff.

I'm dubbing your 1000 hit prize as I type, Rhino. Available on Monday. Hope you like it.

Send me porn at my new porn email

Enough blog. Go Doggs! Don't get high before this game ;)

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

does whatever a spider can

I'm adding the infamous Spiderman comic strips to my site. Scroll down at the bottom to see what that crazy Pete Parker has gotten himself into next.

It's random, so refresh often to see what strip you're gonna get next.

Hey, that would be a cheap way to increase my hit count, and that wouldn't be right.

Do it anyway.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

my name is lucifer, please take my hand

Here's your pic of the day. Especially for you, JS. I know how much you love the little people of the south, and Tijuana is about as south as you can get. MASCARITA SAGRADA IS YO DADDY!

I went shoping today. I bought this cute little handbag and matching shoes... er, I mean, I bought an MP3 CD player and a new set of speakers for my computer. OfficeMax had the flatpanel speaks for $6.99, and I couldn't pass that up. I've been wanting a new CD player (old one's at least five years old and the motor's about worn out) but I needed one that could handle MP3 cds (and was less than $20), so when I saw one for $19.99, I snatched it up.

I'm working on a new logo for the site, tell me what you think.

Watched more IWA:MS this morning. Spyder Nate Webb = Defender of Fair Maidens (and kisser of boo-boos).

Hopefully I'll get to watch the PPV that I think is tonight, cable company willing. I don't really care what matches are on, I just want to watch to watch.

Enough blog. Falcons are winning, so I guess I'm happy.

p.s., everybody update your blogs at least once over the break. I realize the temptation is to just consume a page full of blotter acid and forget your worries, but please, blog responsibly. The children are our future.

p.p.s., we should all get together for a poker game. I'll bring the cards and JS can bring the hookers. Ask Pitts where he gets his working girls from.


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