Wednesday, December 07, 2005

i'd do anything for love

Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) (pops)

No known band has even attempted to cover this song, or "Paradise By The Dashboard Light".

I intend to change this.

It will be both a serious musical statement and the most hilarious event of the century, as I have no vocal talent whatsoever. I will need an expert team of musicians to accomplish this goal, but since I don't know an expert team of musicians, I will be forced to do this myself. The instrumental parts are fairly easy, since I can just program them into a sequencer and be done with it. However, the vocals must be done in the authentic "drunken karaoke" style. And this must be videotaped. You know, for posterity.

All kidding aside, I'm fairly sure that my ultimate purpose on this planet is to be the world's worst and best karaoke singer. With my comical physique and stage presence, my near-encyclopedic lyrical knowledge, and my unflappable willingness to make a complete jackass of myself in front of intoxicated strangers, it is a match made in Heaven. Let me get my lucha mask, and we're ready to go.

I'm all set for my finals for this week and next. It's official that I don't have to take my Psych final. I did the math, and I only have to make above 70 to get an A in algebra, and the other two classes I have solid A's in as well.

I get to sleep in half of Friday and all of Monday, so the weekend should be a sloth-filled excursion into the depths of human laziness. Tuesday is a joke, since the only real difficulties I'll have are this week.

I should get completely drunk on Tuesday night, but alas, I live in a Puritan household which knows not the pleasures of the vine. And I'm too lazy to go visit anyone who would have booze on hand.

Plus, my body is a temple.

A temple to Buddha, apparently, but a temple nonetheless.

With that, I am away. We'll meet again tomorrow, same Suplex time, same Suplex station.


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