mountain song

Mountain Song - Jane's Addiction (pops)

I hate Mariah Carey.

Well, not her specifically, but her new single.

You see, I spend an hour on the road each day. As such, I wish to be entertained during my commute. Normally, I listen to Dave 92.9 (a Jack format station) in the morning and afternoon, but for some reason I can't get good reception this week, at least on 316 (the highway that runs from my house to my school, for those unfamiliar with Northeast Georgia roadways). So, instead, I listen to the station that gets the clearest reception, since they have the largest broadcasting station, 95.5 The Beat.

95.5 is Atlanta's main hip-hop station. Ludacris (no, not Kipper, the other one) used to DJ for them as Chris Luva-Luva before he broke out. They play Top 40 Hip-Hop with an Atlanta focus, plus a sprinkling of local talent that hasn't really hit nationwide, like Gucci Mane and Young Jeezy. Normally, it's brainless but largely inoffensive programming.

But this time they have gone too far.

They have played the new Mariah Carey song every single hour, without fail, sometimes twice.

I hate this song.

It's not that it's poorly produced, which is my usual complaint. It's not that it's a no-talent singing it, because Mariah Carey has loads of talent (although she apparently stopped studying music after learning "melisma").

It's that the damn hook won't escape my head. I could just about sing you the entire song from memory at this point.

You may ask, "Well, you ungodly sexy beast, who I can tell is obviously well-endowed simply by his writing style, why don't you change the station?"

Okay, you probably won't put the question in so many words, but the main thrust is the same.

Simple. I would rather lsiten to infectious, hook-laden, mind-numbing dreck than listen to static.

Also, the way I drive, I need to devote both hands to the steering wheel rather than adjusting the radio.

Especially when the red Mustang in front of me (which has the same engine package I do, since we're both Fords from the same frame and body style, so I know it's capable of steady acceleration and maintenance of speed) decides to go seventy, then slow down to fifty-five, I get in the left lane to pass him, he speeds up to seventy five, I get back behind him, and he slows down to fifty-five, repeat ad infinitum.

I hate 316.

But I hate Mariah Carey more.