Sunday, March 13, 2005

living after midnight

I've officially been bugged for more content, so send me stuff to try out, review, listen to, watch, or whatever. Email me for my home address, or, if its a website, send it to me there.

Anything larger than a meg needs to be saved on a CD or floppy and mailed to me. Stupid dial-up.

I'm now in the directory for Georgia ministers on the ULC website. I will do weddings (already had a serious offer to do one), funerals, baptisms, confessions (already accepted two), and even bar mitzvahs. Luckily, I know enough Hebrew to fake my way through the ceremony.

The only religious rite I'm not legally allowed to perform is a circumcision, as you need a separate license to perform surgery like that. Personally, I'm thankful that I can't do circumcisions, because that's a lot of pressure. Suppose I slip and make the kid a eunuch?

I'm thisclose to inquiring about getting my own cable access show. I've got a crew lined up consisting of me, Joey, and the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Pitts. We'll do the classic televangelism show, complete with me doing my best Benny Hinn impression.

Or is that Benny Hill? Whichever's funnier.

I think we could raise some serious money, what with the religious climate of Winder being as it is. There's a lot of disillusioned people with money to spend and faith to spare. I could really do some good with a ministry like that.

As an aside, Rhino's convinced I'm going to hell for this one. I think as long as I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm okay. And if someone donates money to me, I'd feel too bad to keep any of it. The money would arrive in unmarked envelopes to a variety of local and national charities.

Minus shipping and handling, of course.

I kid, I kid. I kid because I love.

I've almost converted all of my CDs to my hard drive. Takes up a little more than 5 GB, which isn't bad considering I've got something like 150 CD's in my personal collection.

I also realized how many novelty records I buy. I've got four separate Simpsons soundtracks.

Three groups are tied for most albums I own, Everclear, Barenaked Ladies, and the Beatles.

When you go through all your CD's you come across songs you didn't remember you liked. I present to you Black Sabbath's "Children of the Grave", which will be my "smashing machine" theme music if I ever bite the bullet and get trained as a wrassler.

Joey's theme music? "The Other Side of Midnight" by Uriah Heep.

And Rhino?

"Tubthumping" by Chumbawamba.

Yeah, I'm embarrassed by that one too. I actually bought that one unironically. We all make mistakes when we're young.

Well, I've admitted the worst album in my collection. Any volunteers want to name their worst purchase? Leave a tag or a comment.

Adios, muchachos.

1 Comments:

Blogger Joey said...

I'd have to say All That You Can't Leave Behind - U2

5:34 PM

 

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