make the music with your mouth, biz

That headline's probably going to stretch the sidebar. Oh well.

I found some time to write, so congratulations to you, the reader, who gets to experience my pithy greatness.

I've been tweaking the template for the past two days, subtly and not-so-subtly. A couple of links have changed (damn you Live Audio Wrestling), and I took out a few things that were slowing load times down past where they should be. I should be making this template XHTML compliant, but I'm really lazy and hate needling through source to simply make things "official" when they work correctly anyway. My motto has always been "if it ain't broke, don't fix it, even if ISO9000 says you have to."

I drove up to Wal-Mart today to get the oil changed and the tires rotated on the Honda. Anyone want to guess how long it took? Two hours and forty-five minutes. I had to spend two hours and forty-five minutes in close quarters with the populace of Barrow County, and if you know Barrow County, you're already sympathizing.

(As an aside, I saw possibly the coolest hairstyle ever today. A black guy, wearing a white dress shirt, black tie, and black dress pants, with a six inch mohawk. And, as a plus, he looked exactly like Teddy Long, but a little darker and twenty-five years younger.)

Anyways, while I was there I saw Sam King, Patrick O'Neal, and Bryan O'Neal. Not together. Well, the O'Neals were together, but they weren't with Sam. You know what I'm saying.

Since I had so much time to kill (murder, maim, injure at the very least), I shopped for groceries, and despite not spending more than four dollars on any one item, and not more than two on most of it, ended up with over a hundred dollars worth of food. Shows what three hours in a Wal-Mart will do to your food budget.

I just realized that Bryan O'Neal looks eerily like Bryan Fury from Tekken. Strange.

I've been doing more and more on the guitar, partially to get better, and partially to keep my mind off of upcoming stressful events. So far, it's working, as I've got my calluses back. Makes typing a little slower, but I'll survive. What's weird is, out of my six stringed instruments, I'm going back to the first guitar of my dad's, a Sears Silvertone from the late Sixties.

Well, that's enough for now. I'm going to go find some old Mad Magazine scans and appreciate real humor.

bye bye birdie

I got rid of the tag board because the server kept fizzling out on me. I'll look for a replacement, but it's been a little crazy around here getting ready for school, among other things, so don't expect a fix anytime in the near future.

If you really want to get in touch with me, email me or leave comments here. In order to leave comments, you have to have a Blogger account, but that's not a problem for most of you.

If I don't get a chance to post something real in the next few days, I'll put up an old song post that I never got around to putting on here.

Adios, and remember:

We will wade in the shine of the ever
We will wade in the shine of the ever
We will wade in the tides of the summer

with a melancholy sound

---------

The Breakup Song - The Greg Kihn Band

---------

We had broken up for good just an hour before,
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing 'cross the floor.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And then the band slowed the tempo, and the music gets you down.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
It was the same old song, with a melancholy sound.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't write 'em like that anymore.

We'd been living together for a million years,
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
But now it feels so strange out of the atmospheres.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And then the jukebox plays a song I used to know.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
And now I'm staring at the bodies as they're dancing so slow.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.
They don't write 'em like that anymore.

Now I'm winding up staring at an empty glass
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.
Cause it's so easy to say that you'll forget your past.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah.

They don't write 'em like that anymore.
No, they just don't write 'em like that anymore.
Oh, they don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't, no they don't, no no, uh-uh,
They just don't write 'em like that anymore.
They just don't...

mony mony

Tommy James, everybody.

I added a PayPal donation button on the sidebar. Feel free to donate as much as you think is necessary.

If I don't see at least a few donations in the next couple of months, you'll force me to go completely televangelist on you and do a pledge drive.

The quasi-official name of the donation drive: "Get an Internet Superstar some Wheels".

Also, in addition to doing a telethon, I'll have to steal the music video from the original Live Aid that had "Drive" by the Cars behind pictures of starving African children.

Man, Benjamin Orr was fuckin' great. Ric Ocasek, too, but to a lesser extent. "Drive" gives everybody chills, it's so good.

experimental film

I'll be driving the old, beat up Thunderbird until at least January. The insurance was entirely too high to get a third car. It's bad enough just adding me to the insurance, much less adding me and a new (to me) car.

I've been playing too much guitar lately. I'm still not back where I was, but in a week or two, given enough practice time, I'll be good again. I really need to start playing piano again, but I just don't have the room to have it up and running in a location where it would do some good, like next to my computer so I could do direct recording.

I came into some fakebooks (known as lead sheets to the more orchestrally minded) of semi-recent songs, and I've been playing a lot of Elvis and Roy Orbison. Thanks to the fine people at Ultimate Guitar, I now can play most of the They Might Be Giants catalog. As long as I can play "Robot Parade", "Meet James Ensor", and most importantly "New York City", I'm happy.

Yes, I know that "NYC" technically isn't a TMBG song, and that it's actually a cub song. So what. I like TMBG's version better.

In sadder news, I have... retired the Orange Converse.

"Taps" will be played later today, and the funeral service will be announced soon.

I need slightly dressier shoes that are comfortable, so I settled on a jet black pair of Vans. I've worn Vans before, and know that they are very comfortable due to the immense amount of padding on the inside, plus they are naturally wider than most major brands of shoes. This means I don't have to wear shoes two sizes too big, like I do for Nikes, Reeboks, and the like.

I admit it, I have quite the odd shaped feet. Very wide, flat on both the top and bottom (no arch to speak of), with four tiny toes and one very big toe. I also have no ankles, per se, but simply extensions of tree-trunk-like calves.

I read the entire series (so far) of the Image comic book "Invincible". Simply put, everyone needs to read this. Even if you're not a traditional comic fan, you'll probably like this. It's really funny, and it has some touching moments too. It's the story of a son of superhero. The son lives a fairly normal life, until (right before his eighteenth birthday,) his powers kick in. Hilarity ensues, at least for the first twelve or so issues. Then, it takes a pretty cool twist and turns the whole series on its head.

Well, it's a Sidney Crosby kind of day for the NHL team that gets the first pick in the draft. Here's hoping it's the Thrashers.

Bye for now. Remember:

Is he a dot, or is he a speck?
When he's underwater does he get wet?
Or does the water get him instead?

method of modern love

This is a graph of my site traffic for the last few months.

I have a simple question:

WHY AM I POPULAR IN RUSSIA?

Seriously, I get hits all over the world, and I'd love to know why. I can only tell so much from the referral data I have. If you're a regular visitor from another country, or just someone who I don't know personally, let me know how you found the site, so I can better serve you, the customer. Leave a comment or leave a message in the chatbox in the upper right corner.

God, I sound like the worst kind of salesman.

I'm closing in on buying the Ramcharger. I would love to have something newer, but it's crunch time. Hopefully, I can drive this one, sell my dad's car, take the money from that and combine it with my savings, and buy a car from a dealer. Then I can have a nice reliable ride, but I'll have transportation until then. If I can find a camera, I'l try and put up a picture of the truck.

I bought my books for the next quarter. Four books, two new, two used: $397.68. I've already found five or six errors in the Music Appreciation book. I hate the spin in the American Government book. The Algebra book and the Psychology book are staying in their shrink wrap just in case they're not the right book.

I had to replace my old, ratty bookbag. I ordered a messenger bag off of Amazon, which I will now cover in patches. I'm going to put on the "Perdue Chicken" and "Vulture's Nest" patches I got from the Confederate Mack when I sent him some money for his wedding. I also went down to Junkman's in Athens (one of two licensed dealers in Homestar Runner merchandise) and bought four of the five HSR patches. "Raised by a Cup of Coffee", "Dangeresque", "The Homestarmy", and (my personal favorite) "Powered by The Cheat". I'm not a big fan of Trogdor.

I need to go back down to Junkman's and buy some more patches and some bumper stickers, once I get my vehicle.

I've rambled enough. Here's hoping I survive the DVDVR Purge of '05 with my account intact.

all I have to do is dream

Two opposing forces: boredom and dread.

Boredom is obvious. I haven't had any work to do in forever, and you can only watch so many episodes of Card Sharks before life begins to lose all meaning.

Dread is a little more complicated. I dread going back to school, mainly because I hate having to change my routine.

I've settled into a nice little rut of waking up at 10:00AM, spending an hour on a runthrough of the 'net, getting up and eating "breakfast", taking a shower, then general lounging until about 2:00AM, when I roll over and fall asleep.

Come August, though, I'll have to get up at 8:30, run to the shower, get dressed, be out of the door by either 9:00 or 10:00, depending on the day, in class by either 10:00 or 11:00, in class until either 12:00 or 1:00, then on Mondays rush to the high school to do Academic Bowl (if Kate and I get the position as Advisors), then go home and do a few hours of homework before finding something for dinner and/or working on freelance stuff to earn some scratch.

Not exactly a strenuous schedule, but considerably different from what I do now.

I still haven't found a car, but a lady is supposed to call me back about a 1993 Nissan Altima with less than 100,000 miles. She initially wanted $3000, but then I had to inform her she was batshit insane. I'll offer $1700 to start (Blue Book value is $1895), but I'll go as high as $2100 if the car drives decently.

I've really got to have a car by the end of the week, because Barrow County starts back (for teachers, at least) next week.

I could always drive Dad's old and busted ride, but it's got a V8 (means more gas and more power, neither of which I want) and a transmission with a tendency to slip out of third gear. Probably what I'll end up with, though.

I spent all Friday morning parallel parking. I'm not great, but a few more days working on it and I'll be good to go. I'm not really worried about the impending trest, which means I'll either ace it effortlessly or fail miserably.

Well, if my ulcer doesn't catch back up with me, I'll be okay. Surprisingly, I've made it almost the entire summer without a major flareup. A virtual lack of stress and responsibility will do wonders for one's gastrointestinal health.

Too much information to close this one out. Adios, and remember: it's not the size of the boat, but the size of the dock.

survival car

I've spent most of the week up to this point shoping for a new car. I've got a decent lead if I can't find anything better, but I don't really want a car with 234,000 miles on it. Otherwise, it's pretty nice, but I'm afraid I'd spend more money on mechanics than what I'd pay for the car ($1500, but I can talk him down). 1989 Accord DXe, by the way.

If I decide to just say screw it, I could get a 1983 Ram Charger for $500. One owner, basically a sunday-driver for the past decade and a half. The cons on that one though: no air conditioning, gas guzzler, and it's one of my dad's friend's cars, and if something happened with the car, it could affect that relationship.

Plus, the thing's too big. I'm used to driving a 2001 Honda CRV, which is among the smallest SUVs made. It's basically an Accord with a lift kit, which is why I'm interested in the '89 Accord.

While I was looking for a car yesterday, I stepped in an anthill while wearing flip-flops, and easily have two dozen ant bites on my feet. Also, I helped fix the water pump out at the wellhouse, and got mosquito bites all on my legs. I've got at least three dozen bites or stings on me right now, and boy do they ever itch.

Apparently, I'm candy for critters this week.

That is the dorkiest thing I've ever said, heard, or thought, and in the future I'll deny I ever said it.

I read the entire first run of Brian Michael Bendis' Powers series. I actually like it, more than I thought I would. Although it gets kind of shitty near the end. Especially issue 31. I understand where he was going with it, but come on. Monkeys?

And if you don't love cameos by Warren Ellis, you don't love America.

My mother is officially hooked on poker. She's been watching all of the reruns of the WSOP, and I keep up with this year's standings, so she's up to date on the action this year. In addition, she's been obsessively watching the Celebrity Poker shows on Bravo, plus World Poker Tour on the Travel Channel and various little shows on Fox Sports.

I got her an account with PartyPoker, and she'll probably ruin the family financially, and it'll all be my fault.

But seriously, I taught her everything she knows, so she could at least beat Toby... I mean Thalyn.

Now if Jonboy shows up, I might as well start calling him "landlord".

I do all right for my self, but I don't compete for money very often. I can beat TJ all of the time, most any body three-quarters of the time, and Jonboy half the time, so I'm decent.

I still stay in the "play money" rooms at PartyPoker, though. I'm not at my best if I can't see my opponents in the flesh. I'm all about the body language and the tells. Doesn't mean I'm not good, though. I can hold my own with almost anybody in the play rooms. I'm "mrjablowme", if you run into me. Feel free to brag if you take all of my fake money.

Anyways, that about does it for this edition of the semi-regular, should-probably-be-updated-more-often blog.

Email me or call me, preferably at home. Figure out the number from the various encrypted messages hidden in this post.

I also accept letters, carrier pigeons, and telegrams.

bought for a song

Here's a new idea: the First Annual "Buy Me This" List.

Here goes:

Books

The Death of WCW
Tributes II: Remembering More of the Worlds Greatest Wrestlers (Wrestling Observer)
The DC Comics Encyclopedia
The Rolling Stone Encyclopedia of Rock & Roll (Revised and Updated for the 21st Century)
The Encyclopedia of Science Fiction
Encyclopedia Britannica: With 2004 Book of the Year (Britannica Books)

Music

1000 Great Country & Western Songs
Nuggets: Original Artyfacts from the First Psychedelic Era, 1965-1968 [BOX SET]
Nuggets II: Original Artyfacts from the British Empire and Beyond [BOX SET]
The Complete Stax-Volt Singles 1959-1968 [BOX SET]

Games

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Tekken 5
Nintendo Gamecube Console - Limited Edition Platinum
Microsoft XBox
Sony VAIO VGN-A790 17" Notebook PC (Intel Pentium M Processor 760, 1 GB RAM, 100 GB Hard Drive, DVD+R Dbl Layer/DVD+/-RW Drive)

Stuff

Playboy
Penthouse
Wrestling Observer

I think that about does it.

Materialistic little shit, ain't I?

gigantic

I am updating out of a combination of boredom and necessity. I need to update more often, but I haven't gotten around to it until now because my boredom hasn't reached it's zenith until now.

I bought a set of King of the Cage DVD's that I've been watching (10 discs for $12 is a sweet deal no matter how you cut it), plus I got the Transformers game for PS2 at Circuit City on Sunday in their annual $10 sale.

Sadly, the real game I wanted, the GTA3/VC double pack, was nowhere to be found. It's normally $35, but it was lumped in with the other $10 games. I should have ordered it online, but I didn't think about that until it was too late.

The TF game is fun, but I wouldn't have bought it at full price. Then again, I wouldn't buy ANY game at full price these days. I can't justify spending $50 on a silly game.

I also ordered a cell phone on Sunday, so maybe now I can enter the 1990's. Virgin had a deal where you buy the phone for $24.99, and you get a free top-up included, plus free shipping. So I get a fully functional cell with minutes already on it for less than a meal for four.

I need to get some ringtones, but I refuse to shell out money for them. i guess I'll scour the net and see what's out there for an enterprising young pseudo-hacker like me. I can't remember: do Kyoceras have a manual midi input option like certain Nextels do?

I'll probably settle for the basic "ring-ring", though. I'm lazy like that.

I'm halfway through "The Fighter's Notebook", which is the supposed "bible" of MMA. I'm pretty sure I can't really do anything physical with the knowledge that I didn't have, besides defend against a single-leg shoot, but it makes watching MMA fights a little more entertaining when you see which positions lead where and how they try to chain transitions.

I read all of "Earth X" and "Universe X" today, and I'll read through "Paradise X" tomorrow. I also got a complete collection of "What-If?" comics, so I'll be slagging through those this week.

If I'm going to devote this much time reading the damn things, I should probably try to get paid for it, right? I'll see what freelance review opportunities there are. Maybe get a few dolla-dollas.

Enough for now. Remember, if you want it, you can have it, but you've got to learn to reach out there and grab it.